|WWE Royal Rumble 2014 Results|
Our panel for tonight is Josh Mathews, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels and Captain Caveman (aka Hacksaw Jim Duggan). HBK says the strategy is to "not let yourself get thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor", hahaha. He's the man. This is an awesome panel of lunatics.
YES! Vickie Guerrero, Brad Maddox, and many superstars are backstage with the old tumbler to pick their number for the Royal Rumble. Alberto Del Rio seems happy. R-Truth is super pumped and keeps asking people what they have. Kofi said his number could be better, but he's ok. Truth seems pissed. Swagger wants Cesaro's number instead. Khali goes next and seems pissed. Sandow laughs at him and goes last. Khali laughs at him (so either Sandow has a worse spot or right afterward).
WWE Tag Team Championship [Pre-Show Kickoff Match]: Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs. New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn)
Off to a good start so far. These two teams mesh well together. Goldust hits a nice sunset flip power bomb. Road Dogg goes for the pump handle slam and Cody turns it into a Cross Rhodes, but Billy interrupts the pinfall. Billy Gunn makes a blind tag and hits the Fameasser on Cody Rhodes FOR THE VICTORY!
WINNERS (and new WWE Tag Team Champions): The New Age Outlaws via pinfall.
Good match. It could have had a few more minutes, but it was still fun, and the ending of it was pretty cool. I'm a fan of Gunn and James winning the titles, so that's a cherry on top.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt
It's a good sign for Bryan fans that this match is going on first. He could still pop up in the Royal Rumble and win it now that he'll have a break between matches. Wyatt sends Harper and Rowan back to the locker room, saying he doesn't need them to fight this war for him. Over 10 seconds go by when this happens, but we're supposed to just ignore the count-out. Bryan takes advantage and leaps from the top rope onto Bray and they crash down on the outside. Bryan looks like he's going for a Sharpshooter, but puts Wyatt into some messed up looking move that requires Wyatt to hold his legs into place for no apparent reason and claim that it hurts. That was stupid. They're playing up Bryan's concussion. The pace has really slowed down and this isn't as exciting anymore. I disagree with the crowd chanting "this is awesome". The pace is starting to pick up, thankfully. Okay, now the match is back to being good. Bryan hits a nice tornado DDT after jumping from the ring apron. They're evening things up. Bryan still looks like he's more dominant overall, though. Wyatt hits the Sister Abigail on the security barricade. Wyatt brings him into the ring and hits another Sister Abigail for the win.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt via pinfall.
This had some good points and some bad parts as well. Overall, it was a pretty decent match. I hope it's not the match of the night, as that will be disappointing, but as an opener, it was good.
Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show
Big Show supposedly hurt his hand, and it's not a good sign that he was shaking it before he came out. Lesnar starts the match off IMMEDIATELY going after Big Show and even attacks him with a chair. This could end up not being an actual match, but just a squash. The match officially starts and Big Show hits the WMD punch, but you can tell it hurts him really badly. Lesnar doesn't sell it as a knockout and Big Show doesn't even go for the pin. Lesnar makes quick work of Big Show, hits an F5, and wins. Afterward, Lesnar continues to dominate Big Show with multiple chairs, beating the living hell out of him.
WINNER: Brock Lesnar via pinfall.
This was barely even a match, so the match itself was not impressive. Lesnar destroying Big Show does help him out quite a bit in building him up for his future WrestleMania match.
Backstage, The Shield show some dissension in regards to the Royal Rumble match. Renee Young interviews Randy Orton, who does the typical "I'm going to win" stuff.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena
Daniel Bryan chants at the beginning of this match. The crowd wants nothing to do with these two. The crowd is trying to chant pretty much anything than what WWE would want them to chant. Y2J, Undertaker, etc. People backstage must be pissed. "Boring" chants now. Justified. This has way too many headlocks and nothing is happening. The referee (Charles Robinson) gets bumped, so obviously Orton is going to tap out and then the ref won't see it, making Cena look good but then leading to him losing the match. Aaaaand the exact thing happens. And now Orton nails Cena with the belt while Robinson is miraculously waking up, so Cena will kick out. Aaaand Cena kicks out. So predictable. Are the fans chanting "this is awful"?? LMAO. Wow. It's not the worst match in the world, but it's definitely a downside to this event. "We want Divas" - that's a new low. Orton poses, which is funny. It was interesting to see Orton hit the Attitude Adjustment on Cena, even if it didn't result in the end of the match. Cena hitting an RKO was equally interesting. Cena locks in the STF and the Wyatt Family comes out to cause a distraction. Orton hits an RKO and retains the title.
WINNER: Randy Orton via pinfall.
The end of the match was interesting, but the whole rest of it was a bore.
The 2014 Royal Rumble Match
Here we go, guys! They're showing prerecorded "I'm going to win" promos like they used to! #1 is CM Punk, as indicated before. #2 is Seth Rollins, exactly like I predicted. Kudos to me! I'll probably get nothing else right the rest of the night. #3 is Damien Sandow. #4 is Cody Rhodes who goes after his former best friend, Sandow. Sandow is eliminated by Punk. I didn't expect him to go so fast. #5 is Kane, who comes out wearing dress pants. Before the next entrant, Punk eliminates Kane! #6 is Alexander Rusev from NXT. #7 is Jack Swagger. #8 is Kofi Kingston, coming out one spot later than what I had thought he would. #9 is Jimmy Uso, I had Jey Uso down on my predictions. #10 is Goldust.Alexander Rusev is eliminated by multiple people. Kofi Kingston is thorwn out and Rusev catches him and places him on the barricade. It's time for Kingston to do something cool! Kingston runs the barricade like a gymnast and jumps back onto the apron. #11 is Dean Ambrose. #12 is Dolph Ziggler, making his return. #13 is R-Truth. R-Truth gets eliminated by Dean Ambrose pretty damn fast. Jimmy Uso gets eliminated as well. Swagger loses his boot trying to kick Kofi out and Kofi uses the boot to stay in by hitting Swagger with it. #14 is Kevin Nash (totally called exactly by my buddy Chuck)! Jack Swagger is eliminated by Kevin Nash. Nash starts making his way around the people, giving them big boots. #15 is Roman Reigns.Kofi Kingston is eliminated by Roman Reigns. Reigns spears Ziggler brutally! Dolph Ziggler is eliminated by Roman Reigns. Kevin Nash is eliminated by Roman Reigns. #16 is the Great Khali. Khali is eliminated by Roman Reigns. Goldust eliminated Cody Rhodes and Goldust was eliminated by Roman Reigns afterward. #17 is Sheamus. #18 is The Miz. #19 is Fandango. #20 is El Torito. Fandango is eliminated by El Torito. El Torito is eliminated by Roman Reigns. #21 is Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro hits a really elongated swing on Seth Rollins. #22 is Luke Harper. #23 is Jey Uso. #24 is John Bradshaw Layfield! JBL even enters with his full suit on! He tells Cole to get his coat. JBL is eliminated by Seth Rollins. The fans chant "you still got it!" HAHAHA. #25 is Erick Rowan.The Miz is eliminated by Luke Harper. Jey Uso is eliminated. #26 is Ryback. #27 is Alberto Del Rio. #28 is Batista. We only have Rey Mysterio and one other person left. Erick Rowan is eliminated by Batista. Ryback is eliminated by Batista. Alberto Del Rio is eliminated by Batista. #29 is Big E Langston. That means Rey Mysterio is #30. Fans boo and chant for Daniel Bryan. C'mon CM Punk! Big E Langston is eliminated by Sheamus. Rey Mysterio is eliminated by Seth Rollins.Luke Harper is eliminated by Roman Reigns. Dean Ambrose tries to eliminate Roman Reigns, but is unsuccessful. Antonio Cesaro, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose are eliminated by Roman Reigns! I got my final four right. CM Punk is eliminated by Kane. What the fuck, they're really going with Batista at WrestleMania? What a fucking joke. That sucks. The fans are chanting "no" instead of the Brogue chants and booing the final three. Sheamus is eliminated by Batista. The fans are hoping Reigns wins, it seems, but he won't. Batista hits a shitty spear on Reigns. WWE must be pissed. Reigns hits a GOOD spear on Batista. It won't amount to anything, as Batista will definitely win. Yup.
WINNER: Batista via WWE not believing in anyone who isn't jacked up and muscular
Very fun Royal Rumble match, and it's a shame that Batista had to be booked as the winner.
1. New Age Outlaws win the WWE Tag Team Championship
2. The use of the tumbler to pick numbers during the pre-show and the prerecorded "I'm going to win" promos before the match
3. The Royal Rumble, minus the winner.
1. Orton versus Cena
2. No real Lesnar vs Big Show match
3. Batista winning. Seriously? Ugh.