|WWE Extreme Rules 2015 Results|
Dean Ambrose pops up and kicks Byron Saxton off the panel to take his place. He just promotes his match later on. After some more video packages, the panel is interrupted again with a promo by Bray Wyatt.
[Pre-Show Kickoff Replacement Match]: Bad News Barrett vs. Neville
Barrett grabs the mic immediately to claim that Bryan's terrified of losing his title and that's why he's bailed on the match. As soon as Neville comes out, the NXT chants start. Pretty quickly into this match, they cut to a commercial about the WWE Network. Hopefully, this show isn't packed with too many of those things. I get that it's a free one for new subscribers and that's their goal, but it will hurt the show too much if the matches suck and the promotional material is overbearing. This match is dictated by Neville's moves, which keeps it fun as the energy isn't dropping. Neville hits a Red Arrow for the win.
WINNER: Neville via pinfall.
Good, solid opener. I would have enjoyed it more if it were for the Intercontinental Championship, since the stakes would have been magnified considerably, but it was still better than just adding more time to the other matches on the card. Hell, I think this is better than what Bryan would have been able to do anyway.
[Chicago Street Fight]: Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose
A Singapore cane is brought into play as well as a chair. Harper suplexes Ambrose onto another chair and then starts whacking him with the kendo stick. There's a little too much avoiding each other in this match for my taste. It seems like half the moves are about dodging someone's attack or tossing them outside or something. They start to fight to the back with Ambrose brandishing the kendo stick. Ambrose tosses some kind of metallic pipe at Harper, who then gets into a car and drives off with Ambrose climbing into the passenger seat. The crowd boos as they drive off and the match basically ends with them leaving, although they of course say it's going to continue. The fans start chanting for CM Punk to entertain themselves.
Backstage, Triple H talks to Kane and asks him to find Harper and Ambrose. Seth Rollins comes over and Hunter says they need to get on the same page as they can't afford for anything to go wrong.
[Kiss Me Arse Match]: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
I'm not looking forward to this at all...just saying. Ziggler takes the fight to Sheamus right off the bat, but the Celtic Warrior's power game slows The Showoff down soon enough. There's not much to talk about until the ending, as Dolph Ziggler gets a random pin reversal out of nowhere.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via pinfall.
I'm surprised at the ending and the match wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but I still wasn't super into it.
Dawdle, dawdle. Just attack him already, Sheamus. You know that's what this is building toward. After what feels like 20 minutes, Sheamus gives Ziggler a low blow and WWE will just write this off as being okay. He gets a microphone and says he promised that Ziggler would kiss his ass and he won't disappoint, so he rubs Ziggler's face on his ass cheek and leaves. Cause, you know, that makes sense.
[WWE Tag Team Championship]: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (c) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E)
The crowd is hot in the right way, booing New Day and cheering Cesaro and Kidd. There's a great spot with Tyson flipping through the second rope onto Kofi on the outside. When the fans chant "New Day sucks", Xavier flips out and asks what they did wrong and reiterates that they're winning (lol). New Day hits a combo finisher on Tyson Kidd, but Cesaro just gets in there in time to break up the count. Kofi attempts Trouble in Paradise, but Kidd catches him and puts him in a Sharpshooter. Big E interrupts to prevent Kingston from tapping out. Cesaro tags in and swings Kofi before Kidd dropkicks him. Xavier Woods distracts the referee and Natalya knocks him off the apron. Big E interferes some more and Kingston is able to roll Cesaro up for the win!
WINNERS (and new Tag Team champions): The New Day via pinfall
Very entertaining match!
After the match, Renee Young interviews The New Day while they are celebrating. The car from earlier makes an appearance and Ambrose and Harper continue their match in the back.
[Chicago Street Fight]: Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose (continued)
These two brawl back into the ring. On opposite sides, they both toss chairs into the ring. The fans start chanting ECW. There's one shot of dueling chairs and then they go back to punching each other. Harper powerbombs Ambrose onto a chair. Harper lays a bunch of chairs on top of Ambrose and then goes to the top rope. Ambrose escapes, tosses Harper onto the pile, hits a Dirty Deeds on a chair and covers him for the win.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via pinfall.
This was fun in a way, but not as crazy awesome as I'm sure WWE wanted it to be. This was stretching a rather bland hardcore match in a way to make it seem like it was more.
[United States Championship - Russian Chain Match]: John Cena (c) vs. Rusev
WWE has lights on the turnbuckles, which makes this easier to follow, but I'm sure it'll get messed up at some point (lol). I'll save myself the trouble of typing the following a bunch of times, but this will be the way the match goes: one guy gets 2-3 turnbuckles and then the other pulls him away. In the mean time, they whip each other with the chain, strangle each other, or just punch and kick and suplex per normal. Then, Cena will either be pulled into the fourth turnbuckle or he'll jump and voila. Rusev sends Lana to the back to get boos. Cena does a Five Knuckle Shuffle to get boos. Both work. Oh look, Cena won after an Attitude Adjusment. Did you see that coming?
WINNER: John Cena via merchandise sales
That makes three out of three matches that these two have had that I wasn't impressed with.
[Divas Championship]: Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi
Naomi finally has a new theme song, but what the fuuuuuuck is she wearing???? She's weird as hell dancing around in what looks like the leftovers from a costume she wore to a rave, but she's proving early on in this match that she's so much better in the ring than WWE gives her credit for. Her athleticism is being shown off rather well (save for a few botches). While the referee is distracted, Brie blasts Naomi in the head with a kick. Nikki follows that up with the Rack Attack for the win.
WINNER: Nikki Bella via pinfall
Better match than a lot of people will admit it was.
Backstage, Rusev bitches to Lana, who goes to talk to The Authority. Don't tell me we're getting a fourth match with these two...
[Last Man Standing Match]: Big Show vs. Roman Reigns
Does anyone want to count how much of this match consists of the referee counting and how much is actual action? I know I sure as hell don't. We're off to a good start with Big Show being unable to put a table back under the ring. Reigns pulls it back out, but Big Show just punches it to break it. If this were a Tables Match, he'd have lost. Reigns pulls out a kendo stick. Why is that the only weapon WWE ever uses anymore? Lame. Reigns introduces a chair, which of course means shots to the back. He pulls two tables out and puts them in the ring, but immediately walks into a WMD knockout punch to stall some more time. He gets up though. So much for it being a knockout punch, right? Reigns is able to Samoan Drop Big Show through one of the tables for an 8-count. Big Show spears Roman and says "booyah". Show climbs the turnbuckle and Roman crotches him on it, then pulls out two more tables and sets them up on the outside next to each other. He tosses Big Show into the ring, kind of. So we've got two tables outside and one set up on a turnbuckle that should come into play. Reigns hits a Superman punch, then another, then goes for another but is chokeslammed through the two tables on the outside. Reigns gets up. To kill some time, Big Show dismantles the commentary table and yells at them because one of them has "Big Show needs to lose weight" written in their notes. Big Show goes for a spear and Reigns moves out of the way, so Show just goes through the table positioned on the turnbuckle. Reigns spears Show. Aaaand there's our spot of Roman spearing Big Show through the security barricade that I called before. Both of them stand on the commentary table as Show prepares to chokeslam Reigns, but he jumps down. Reigns then jumps up and spears Show through the Spanish announcers' table. They both get up and then Reigns literally dumps the commentary table on top of Big Show. Reigns then stands on top of the table and prevents Show from getting up.
WINNER: Roman Reigns via standing while Big Show can't.
Better than I expected.
Backstage, Randy Orton tells Kane that he knows who he is, even if Kane's forgotten, and The Authority will use him up and spit him out once they don't need him anymore.
WOO! Bo Dallas is coming out. He says Chicago isn't the Second City, they're #1 - at collectively deciding not to take a shower before coming to the arena (amongst other insults). LOL. The man. Ryback comes out to shut him up.
Uuuuuuugggggggggh they just announced an I Quit match between Rusev and Cena for Payback. I don't want another match!!!
[WWE World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match]: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Randy Orton
The crowd seems kind of split. As expected, lots of Orton attacking Rollins while Rollins tries to climb the cage as quickly as possible. Rollins is able to get on the outside, but not fall down, even though Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury try to jump up and pull him down. J&J Security then tries to tell Kane to open up the cage door, but he denies that request, so they start climbing the cage instead. Orton tosses Rollins into the cage to knock them down. Orton stays in control and preps himself for an RKO but goes for a Pedigree instead! There's a very close 2 and a half count which totally gets the audience (and I'll admit, had me a bit). Orton then goes for the punt, but Rollins gets out of the way. Rollins tells Kane to open the door and he does, so he starts crawling toward it, but Orton pulls him away and gives him a backbreaker. Orton walks to the door and Kane shuts it, holding it locked. Rollins goes for a dropkick but misses Orton and kicks the cage door, which hits Kane. Both of them struggle to climb out of the cage door and Kane slams it on their heads. Pissed, Kane takes off his jacket and tie and enters the cage, followed by J&J Security. Noble and Mercury get chokeslammed by him. After teasing a chokeslam to Rollins, he gives one to Orton instead. Rollins then crawls to the door, but Kane chokeslams him too. However, he drags Rollins on top of Orton for the pin. Orton kicks out. He goes for a Tombstone, but Orton gives him an RKO. Then, Rollins gives Orton an RKO and crawls out of the door to win.
WINNER: Seth Rollins via escaping the cage.
Wasn't the RKO banned? Still an entertaining enough match for a meh pay-per-view.
+ The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro
- John Cena and Rusev
Reasoning: The build for this was pretty bad and some of the matches fell flat. The best matches of the night weren't super duper amazing, but this could have been a lot worse. I don't have many specific things to either complain about or rave about, so this is just a middle of the road situation.
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