|WWE TLC 2013 Results|
The pre-show panel included a spot with Kofi and Miz fighting each other (and Mick Foley giving a shout out to his daughter for her birthday).
Pre-Show Kickoff: Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango
Wow. There wasn't much to this match at all. The next thing I knew after they were introduced, Fandango is hitting his leg drop finisher for the win.
WINNER: Fandango via pinfall.
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon come out to start the event. Vince McMahon was shown getting out of the same car as they did, but he isn't out with them here. Did Stephanie just refer to this as professional wrestling as opposed to sports entertainment??? Whaaaa? They just give a rundown of the history of the titles.
Handicap Match: CM Punk vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns)
Punk is getting the best of The Shield, outsmarting them as if they're idiots. Reigns even goes for a spear and essentially jumps nowhere near Punk to land over the announce table, which was a little awkward. It looks like Reigns might have messed up his eye in the process, as the doctor is checking up on him. This could just be a kayfabe way to get him out of the match, though. Watch out for Reigns spearing someone because of a vision problem later on. Aaaand there it is, with Ambrose spearing Ambrose.
WINNER: CM Punk via pinfall.
Told ya. This was pretty easy to call. Not too bad, but this will be easily forgotten very soon.
Backstage interview with AJ Lee (and Tamina) from Renee Young. AJ complains about not getting the Slammy for Diva of the Year and says the whole division and all of the other divas are jokes.
Divas Championship: AJ Lee (c) vs. Natalya
AJ is probably losing the title tonight as punishment for the whole Tribute to the Troops situation. If that happens, it's a shame. AJ's not looking that good in the match, overall. Natalya's got the strength going on and she is even getting out of the Black Widow. This isn't a squash match, but not much is going on to make me think that AJ is the better of the two divas. Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter on AJ, who struggles to get to the ropes, but is pulled back. AJ reverses out of it. Tamina goes for a distraction. AJ locks in the Black Widow again. Natalya breaks out again and hits her clothesline. Natalya goes for another Sharpshooter and AJ reverses into a roll-up for the win.
WINNER: AJ Lee via pinfall
It looks like the punishment wasn't as severe as it could have potentially been. Good. AJ deserves to keep the title.
Intercontinental Championship: Big E Langston (c) vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow start off on the mic, saying the following phrases are ridiculous: ya'll, reckon, "yee" when followed by the word "haw", and Big E Langston as the Intercontinental champion. Pretty standard match. Nothing important going on. Both guys kind of look like filler in a sense.
WINNER: Big E Langston via pinfall
Kind of a waste, which is a shame as I like both of these guys. This didn't mean much at all and it wasn't really that entertaining - although it wasn't BAD, either.
Backstage, Vince talks to Orton. What does he say? No idea. Mic issues prevent us from hearing anything they said together.
They're announcing Kofi Kingston versus The Miz in a No-DQ match for later on.
Tag Team Championship [Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match]: Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs. The Real Americans vs. Big Show & Rey Mysterio vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel
"That is a ridiculous name." - JBL about Rybaxel. My friend Dane: "Wouldn't it be smart to tag in the other people? No, let's just make Goldust get hurt so we can lose the titles." Can't argue with that point, can you? Goldust does look good, though. He's in great shape. Big Show does that slap to the chest of Axel and the fans chant "one more time", so he does it. They chant it again and Big Show does it a third time. Ouch! Ryback and Curtis Axel are eliminated after Goldust rolls Ryback up. Cesaro sing to Goldust. Shame this wasn't for Big Show or Rey Mysterio. Goldust is taking all the brunt of what the Real Americans can dish out and both Mysterio and Rhodes were taken out of the picture unable to tag Goldust. Goldust is able to tag in Big Show, who soon after, knocks out both Cesaro and Swagger. The Real Americans are eliminated. Here's hoping Cody gets a pin on Mysterio to win the match. LMAO Big Show casually taking Goldust and throwing him into the barricade was hilarious. Nice spot with Mysterio giving Cody a power bomb. Cody intercepts the 619 and subsequently also kicks out of a pinning predicament that Mysterio puts him in. He hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.
WINNERS: Cody Rhodes and Goldust via pinfall.
Solid match. Entertaining from the beginning to the end.
Backstage, they're promoting Brawlin Buddies. Titus O'Neil mentions that he wants Darren Young's recipe for "Patti LaBelle Over the Rainbow Macaroni". Khali, Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox are all involved, goofing off with Los Matadores as well. Kane comes in, they all leave, and he uses a Brodus Clay doll to beat up the John Cena one, which acts as a transition to the introduction of Tons of Funk.
Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth
Could have sworn this was a tag match when they came out. Oh well. Brodus Clay should win this, since it's against R-Truth instead of Xavier Woods. Clay's looking tough, but he's arguing with Tensai a lot. Tensai eventually leaves when Clay says he's better than him. Clay also convinces the Funkadactyls to leave. After that distraction, R-Truth capitalizes with a kick tot he face and a roll-up for the win.
WINNER: R-Truth via pinfall.
I hope Brodus gets a push out of this and not R-Truth, haha.
Backstage, Vince McMahon talks to John Cena. We can barely hear what he says, just like earlier with Orton.
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
How come WWE couldn't have just announced this match ahead of time? This is getting to be quite an annoying habit. At least they're having it, though. The crowd seems a bit bored.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston
Nowhere near as good of a match as they've had in the past. That was disappointing.
Handicap Match: Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family
Not too much of interest going on until Wyatt comes in. He charges full force into Bryan at the corner and soon after, follows it up with a nice vertical suplex toss. Wyatt also does that creepy backwards crawl thing, which makes the crowd chant "that was creepy". Wyatt looks good. He's easily outclassing Harper and Rowan. Bryan's putting up a good fight against these guys as well. This isn't too bad of a match. The Wyatt Family is too much for Bryan to overcome and with a Sister Abigail, Bray Wyatt gets the victory.
WINNERS: The Wyatt Family
Not too bad. Not too bad.
Title Unification TLC Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena
Headlock city? There is probably going to be a lot of time stalling going on. What?! BATISTA IS BACK?! Just kidding. Cena gets a chance to climb, Orton interrupts and hits an RKO. Awkward spot where Orton grabbed a microphone, put it in his trunks, took it out, put it down, picked it back up and then hit Cena with it repeatedly in the head. Cena reaches the titles, but Orton pushes the ladder out from underneath him, causing Cena to dangle while holding on. Orton nails him in the back with a chair to knock him down. Cena tackles Orton through a table. Orton handcuffs Cena to the ropes. Orton tosses the key to the audience. Orton hurts his hand trying to fold up the big ladder [LOL - I'd do the same probably, which is pathetic]. Cena is able to undo the rope and turnbuckle and stop Orton from retrieving the title in time. Orton grabs the ropes to pull Cena down from the ladder, where he lands face first into a table. OUCH. Orton takes the titles down and wins.
WINNER (and new Unified WWE Champion): Randy Orton via Cena faceplanting.Very interesting way to include something different in this match, that's for sure. It had a slow start, but by the ending, it was pretty fun.
1. Roman Reigns spearing Dean Ambrose
2. AJ Lee keeping the title
3. Tag Team Championship match
1. Miz vs Kofi Kingston being bland
2. Big E Langston vs Damein Sandow being bland
3. R-Truth gets a win over Brodus Clay instead of Xavier Woods
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