|WWE Royal Rumble 2013 Winner Results|
Also be sure to check out the Royal Rumble trivia, statistics, and records page for more information on this event's history.
YouTube Pre-Show United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro (c) vs. The Miz
Pretty standard match as expected right now, about even in terms of who is on top. Cesaro uses the ring apron against Miz (not illegal, just smart). He then hits his finisher for the victory.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro via pinfall.
Eh, nothing special. I would have preferred the tumbler idea.
It's time for the pay-per-view itself. They're running a commercial of really stupid people acting all excited for the match and John Cena just sitting at a bar. That was weird.
World Heavyweight Championship [Last Man Standing Match]: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Big Show
I told you, Braeden haha. I knew this would be first. Backstage, Bret Hart talks to Del Rio and wishes him good luck in the match. He calls him a Mexican Bret Hart. Bret gives Ricardo his glasses. There's a sign in the crowd that says "grumpy cat hates jobbers". A chair is brought into play, but doesn't have much going on with it yet. Big Show hits a chokeslam on Del Rio, who gets up at 9. Del Rio is ruining the set (they're fighting up near the stage). Big Show starts hitting Del Rio with the broken set piece....and he breaks it apart. Show sets up a table. Time to climb the stage. This is kind of cool. Big Show chokeslams Del Rio off the set into the table and he hits his head. Del Rio gets up at 9. Big Show tosses Ricardo into the security barricade. He then misses a tackle and blasts into the barricade himself, but gets up at 9. Del Rio puts Big Show's arm on the steel steps and hits it with a chair. He then douses Show with a fire extinguisher. Ricardo duct tapes Big Show's feet to the ropes while Del Rio puts him in the cross armbreaker. Big Show can't get up, of course, so Del Rio wins.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio via duct tape.
Batista would be pissed right now. Good match.
Matt Striker is backstage with Dolph Ziggler, Langston, and AJ. Dolph has some LOD spikes on his vest. Ziggler is coming out at #1. I have one thing right for my predictions. Langston does his impression of the generic backstage interviewer - pretty funny.
We're going old school with some possible winners cutting generic promos about how they're going to win. I love this. So nostalgic.
Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (c) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Daniel Bryan always does a good surfboard, this time on Cody Rhodes. Sandow needs the IC title at some point this year for sure. "Staching Cody Rhodes" sign, that's good. Bit of a botch on Kane's part from not twisting with a neckbreaker. Blind tag to Daniel Bryan. Kane hits a chokeslam on Cody Rhodes. Bryan puts Sandow in the No Lock. Sandow taps out.
WINNERS: Team Hell No via submission.
Well, I got that prediction wrong. I supposed Hell No will be dropping it to the Shield now instead.
Royal Rumble By the Numbers promo. I love these.
Backstage, Hell No celebrate until Vickie Guerrero comes over and gives them their entry #s for the Royal Rumble. They don't reveal it. Bryan shows Kane his #, but Kane doesn't show his to Bryan. "I show you mine, you show me yours" says Bryan. Kane says "trust me, you would feel very inadequate".
Royal Rumble Match
Already?!? #1 is Dolph Ziggler. I have one right so far on the contest. Ziggler talks about how he'll last the whole thing. #2 is CHRIS JERICHO! Wow! Shit. Jericho gets a "you still got it" chant, as if he's some old legend. #3 is Cody Rhodes. #4 is Kofi Kingston. #5 is Santino Marella, despite his neck injury. Santino goes to eliminate everyone and celebrates, but isn't able to toss anyone out. He pulls out the cobra. Cody Rhodes eliminates Santino Marella. #6 is Drew McIntyre. #7 is Titus O'Neil. Drew mcIntyre gets eliminated by Chris Jericho. #8 is Goldust! Cody Rhodes is pissed. #9 is David Otunga. #10 is Heath Slater. #11 is Sheamus. Titus O'Neil is eliminated by Sheamus. Sheamus eliminates David Otunga as well. #12 is Tensai. #13 is Brodus Clay. Cody Rhodes eliminates Goldust. #14 is Rey Mysterio. #15 is Darren Young. Brodus Clay is eliminated. Kofi Kingston eliminates Tensai. Kofi jumps onto Tensai's back and is hanging on. He's now on top of the commentary table! He's asking JBL for his chair. #16 is Bo Dallas.Kofi is now hopping using the chair to the ring apron and gets back in! Hahahahaha. That was good. Darren Young is now eliminated. Cody Rhodes eliminates Kofi Kingston after all that, damn. #17 is The Godfather! Wade Barrett is right, Papa Shango is back. Dolph Ziggler immediately eliminates Godfather with a dropkick, so he goes back to putting on his glasses and such and walks away. His music was playing the entire time. #18 is Wade Barrett. #19 is John Cena. He eliminates Heath Slater and then Cody Rhodes. #20 is Damien Sandow.Wade Barrett eliminates Rey Mysterio. Good. I was worried Rey would eliminate Barrett instead. #21 is Daniel Bryan. #22 is Antonio Cesaro. #23 is Khali. #24 is Kane. #25 is Zack Ryder. We still need Orton, Miz, Ryback, there's no R-Truth. The rumored Shelton or Carlito haven't popped up yet. Kane eliminated Khali. Daniel Bryan eliminates Kane! Cesaro knocks Bryan out but Kane catches him. Kane lets him fall, so Daniel Bryan is eliminated. Reverse Kofi Kingston haha. #26 is Randy Orton. Randy Orton eliminates Zack Ryder. #27 is Jinder Mahal. John Cena eliminates Antonio Cesaro (crowd boos). #28 is Miz. Miz and Cesaro fight before Miz gets into the ring. There's your staple "fight before an entrance" spot. Out goes Jinder Mahal. #29 is Sin Cara. That means #30 will be Ryback. Wade Barrett is eliminated by Bo Dallas. Post-elimination elimination, another staple, with Bo Dallas being eliminated by Wade Barrett. Here comes #30, who is Ryback of course. Now we just have to wait on the Shield to come out and cost the match for him. He eliminates Damien Sandow. Then he eliminates Sin Cara. Ryback eliminates Miz. Ziggler eliminates Chris Jericho. We're down to Ziggler, Orton, Sheamus, Ryback and Cena. Ryback eliminates Randy Orton. Ziggler gets eliminated by Sheamus...fuck. Now it's Ryback, Cena, and Sheamus. BTW, everyone I'm watching the ppv with right now is rooting for Ryback now. Ryback eliminates Sheamus. We're down to Ryback and Cena. John Cena eliminates Ryback and wins the Royal Rumble.
WINNER: John Cena.
I might have gotten the points in the contest, but damn it. The match itself was very entertaining though.
WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. The Rock
Of course Rock cuts a promo...about cancer and stuff? That was weird. Let's move on to the match. Punk just cursed if the bleep was legit. Paul Heyman hits Rock and gives some help to Punk (albeit not much help). Lots of bleeps tonight. Does anyone else feel less excited about this after John Cena just won, knowing it seals the deal that he'll be facing the Rock? They're playing up Punk's bad knee. Rock goes for the Sharpshooter but Punk locks in the Anaconda Vise instead. Rock gets the Sharpshooter on Punk. This match has completely ignored count-outs. They're on the commentary table and it collapses before they can do what they were planning. Rock breaks the count (after about 2 minutes). Rock gives Punk a Rock Bottom on the outside instead. Punk blasts Rock with a kick. Spinebuster from Rock to set up the People's Elbow. Right before he does it, the lights go out. The Shield power bomb the Rock through the table according to Michael Cole. Punk drags Rock into the ring and pins him.
WINNER: CM Punk via pinfall.
Better match than Cena vs Rock.
Out comes Vince McMahon. He's about to strip Punk of the title. The Rock stops him and says he's taking the title from him, not Vince. They restart the match.
WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. The Rock
Well Rock has to win it here of course. It'd be funny though if Punk retained. Spinebuster. People's Elbow. Rock wins.
WINNER (and new WWE Champion): The Rock via pinfall.
Eh. They did a little switch there, but in the grand scheme of things, the Rock was pretty much going to wrestle Cena, so it was a foregone conclusion I guess.
1. Royal Rumble match with lots of cool parts in it like Kofi's section.
2. No divas match.
3. Last Man Standing match.
1. John Cena winning.
2. The Rock and Cena being the match we'll get assuredly.
3. No Shelton or Carlito. I was looking forward to them.
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