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Last week Vince McMahon did what Vince McMahon does, and what Vince McMahon does is make an impact. After he ate a Superman Punch at the fist of Roman Reigns, who went on to retain his title during the match against Sheamus that Mr. McMahon was the Special Referee, he made his way to his feet with help from his darling daughter and told the WWE Universe that this years Royal Rumble will not just be a normal Royal Rumble. Instead, the chairman of the board decided to flash it back to 1990 and force Roman Reigns to defend his WWE World Heavyweight Championship against 29 other superstars in the Royal Rumble match! Also, it has been advertised that The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar, will be making his presence felt at Monday Night Raw tonight. Could we see Lesnar throw his name in the hat for the Rumble? Also, last week we witnessed Charlotte turn heel by attacking her "good friend" Becky Lynch, so expect the inevitable match between those two to happen at the Rumble as well. Expect to get a reaction from Reigns, and more people throw their names into the Royal Rumble as we inch closer and closer to the Road to WrestleMania 32!
PROMO: The opening promo of the night belongs to Vince & Stephanie McMahon! There is a sea of superstars on the stage, and Vince points to them and all says "The new WWE World Heavyweight Champion! Which one will it be?" Essentially saying Roman has no chance in hell. They then, in a roundabout way, tell them that if you throw Roman over one of them is guaranteed to win the belt. No shit, right? They point out Ziggler, Owens, and all of New Day as potential winners. Then the lights go out and They Wyatts appear with Bray on the announce table and the family surrounding him. Wyatt says "Anyone but you Roman. Anyone but you." Announcing his spot I assume. Then Vince says "The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar!" Which hopefully means he will be included as well. The out comes the champ, Roman Reigns. He comes out to the ring, and Vince asks him to "Take it easy, pal." And Steph asks if he's there to beat up her father again. Vince calls him pal again. Which I love for some reason. Roman then asks "What happens if I win?" as Vince and daddy's little girl both bust out in laughter. Vince then admits they thought about that. And they want to give him a shot to prove it in a "One vs. All match" where he will face off with a third or half of the men on stage in one corner, and him in the other. Steph brings up he could fight Dean, but Vince stops that because Dean is in the first match. The camera pans to Dean as he is cheap shot by his opponent, Sheamus.
MATCH: Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus
We come back from the break with the match underway and Dean in the drivers seat. It doesn't take long for Sheamus to take control however. Using his Ten Beats of the Bouldron. I may have absolutely butchered that spelling, but we can't all be perfect. Sheamus then uses a lot of choke holds and body blows in the center of the ring to keep Dean grounded and from gaining any momentum. Dean fights to his feet and uses a side suplex to take the reigns on the match. However, that does not last long. Sheamus goes for the Ten Beats again, but Dean reverses and tries to give him the Ten Beats himself but Sheamus stops that. They then brawl to the outside as Dean is suplexed back first onto the announce table. Sheamus then targets the back of Dean after the suplex with a submission move in the middle of the ropes. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but ends up soaring over the top ropes. Then Ambrose decides it looks rather nice out there and hops through the ropes onto Sheamus with his suicide dive.
We come back from break with Sheamus locking in the Clover Leaf on Ambrose. Ambrose quickly gets to the bottom rope forcing the break. The two brawl back and forth ending with a neck breaker by Ambrose for a two-count. Ambrose then gets caught on the top rope, but turns the table with a roll up pin for a two-count. Then he hits a DDT for another two-count. Ambrose then hits the elbow from the top rope for yet another two-count. Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds, Sheamus reverses and tries for White Noise, Dean then reverses that and hits his clothes line as Sheamus rolls outside the ring. Dean goes out to meet him, but regrets it as he hits the barricade and the steel steps at the hands of the Celtic Warrior. Dean reverses and throws Sheamus' head off the steps and the brawl continues as both men are counted out.
Sheamus is busted open as the announce table is torn apart by Dean, but Kevin Owens attacks Ambrose. The referees separate the two men after Owens attacks a few times.
RESULT: The match ends in a double count out.
THOUGHTS: This was awesome. Great, PPV quality bout by Dean and Sheamus. The double count out is a nice touch that we don't see too often. Keeps both men looking good without a loss, and then having the KO run-in makes their rivalry a little more personal. Nicely done, men. On all counts.
They announce that Chris Jericho will host his Highlight Reel featuring guests.. The New Day!
PROMO: Renee, backstage outside the trainer room where Dean was just taken. Dean comes out with trainers following him asking him to stop. "You feel that pulse? That means I'm still breathing and that's bad news for Kevin Owens."
PROMO: Stephanie, Vince, and Paul Heyman, backstage. Paul compliments the One vs. All concept. Then talks about Lesnar. Paul then says that Lesnar is a prize fighter. He wants to fight for the title on the grandest stage of them all. Not in the rumble. He then offers that the winner face Lesnar at Mania. Vince is short and sweet "I don't like it." Steph then says they should take it to their office. Which they do.
MATCH: Stardust vs. Titus O'Neil
Stardust has some awesome Ziggy face paint repping the late David Bowie! If you want to see it, I retweeted it on my twitter.. @caydenparkhurst. A little self-promotion never hurt anyone.
Stardust uses his speed to gain advantage, but Titus isn't having any of that as he tosses him around like a small child. Then hits those Big Show like chops. Stardust is then caught after a top rope attempt, and is then tosses around like an even smaller child. Stardust shows his aggression as he takes it to O'Neil. Keeping him grounded as much as possible. He is then promptly tosses over Titus' shoulders and eats a huge boot. Titus hits a big splash in the corner, but a reversal gets Cody a two-count. Titus hits Clash of the Titus for the win.
Stardust attacks Titus after the match.
RESULT: Titus O'Neil wins via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: It wasn't Sheamus vs. Dean, but it was decent. I find both these guys entertaining, and I'm happy to see them get some TV time.
HIGHLIGHT REEL WITH CHRIS JERICHO: Its a New Day, yes it is! Jericho rolls through all of his catchphrases including his new one that he coined last week, "ROOTY TOOTY BOOTY" and as he is explaining how he will win the Rumble.. Chris, I love you, but I don't see that.. Out comes New Day! Xavier explains that even though they weren't introduced, they felt they needed to save the show. I wish I could type everything these guys are saying.. Its so good. New Day should hold every belt, am I right? The New Day then explains how they deserve respect because they are the champs. Chris then gets shamed by New Day as The Usos come out. The New Day explained how they are the rightful Slammy winners, so of course The Usos come out holding their Slammy. The New Day then helps The Usos with their math.. 3 of The New Day, and 2 of The Usos. Jericho then explains how he is the sixth wheel.. He then offers a match.. Big E and Kofi with Xavier in their corner, and The Usos with Y2J in their corner. I like that. That was a successful Highlight Reel if there ever was one.
MATCH: The New Day vs. The Usos (w Chris Jericho)
You guys know how I handle tag matches. I'll let you know who wins and how. Also, I'm sure Y2J will get involved in some fashion, so I'll let you know about that as well.
Xaviers trombone and Xavier wants nothing to do with Y2J as he chases them off to the stage.
Big E hits that big splash on the apron to Jimmy.
Jey Uso hits a huge suicide dive onto both Kofi and Big E.
Jericho uses his Xaviers trombone against him by snapping it right in front of him. Woods has.. An emotional breakdown.
Usos use the distraction of Y2J and Woods to roll up Kofi for the win.
RESULT: The Usos win via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: Not a horrible match! The New Day is always entertaining along with The Usos, and add Y2J you cannot go wrong.
They talk about Cena and his shoulder surgery, and then announce Kalisto will take on Alberto Del Rio for the United States Championship tonight.
PROMO: Paul and Stephanie in the office. Vince had to leave the room due to frustration I guess. Paul still vying for Lesnar in the main event for Mania without having to go through the Rumble. Paul then says.. Brock Lesnar says.. NO. Stephanie then says he can tell Lesnar that Vince, who owns his contract, says he WILL compete in the Royal Rumble.
PROMO: JBL in the ring announces the first member of the WWE Hall Of Fame. Stinger!! Anyone who says "Oh he's only had two matches, and he lost." This includes his WCW career. When WWE bought them out, they bought their history as well. Sting means more to professional wrestling than most anyone else ever could. One of the most iconic names, figures, and personas that the business has ever seen. WCW.. TNA.. WWE.. The only person to be in the TNA Hall Of Fame, and WWE Hall Of Fame. Well deserved. Congrats, Sting! The Icon! The Franchise! The Vigilante!
MATCH: The Wyatt Family vs. The Social Outcasts
Oh boy.. These guys escaped from the Island of Misfit Wrestlers.. A Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer reference? Chalk a point up for me.
You know how I handle tag matches, and I'm sure this one will be an absolute wreck. Braun Stroman may actually eat these "Outcasts."
Uh oh! Before the match can really get underway, Ryback comes out. The Wyatts destroyed Ryback and Big Show last week so be prepared for a Big Show sighting.
Actually.. No Big Show sighting! Ryback stands in the ring with The Social Outcasts after they rid the ring of The Wyatt Family.
RESULT: I have no idea.
THOUGHTS: This was rather pointless, and I could have filled this worthless 5 minutes with the College Football Championship.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Kalisto
ADR goes right after Kalisto. Snap suplex and a huge kick to the ribs. Del Rio is taking it to Kalisto with no problem at all. Kalisto has yet to mount any offense, an angry Del Rio is a powerful and aggressive Del Rio apparently. Setting up for a superplex, Kalisto fights out and hits a seated senton. Then builds momentum, tries to hit a DDT, but is stopped cold by ADR. Del Rio is keeping Kalisto on the ground with holds, but the little guy fights out but is again stopped cold. Kalisto begins to mount a little offense yet again, but is always stopped.
We come back with Kalisto on a rally. He's on the top rope and goes for a splash, but it is again reversed by Del Rio. Del Rio again tries to keep him grounded but yet Kalisto fights up. Del Rio slams him down hard. Suddenly Kalisto comes up with some offense. He hits a DDT for what was a very close two-count. Del Rio is definitely feeling the effects, but he hits a big tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Kalisto gets a shot right on Del Rios jaw for another close two-count. Del Rio then hits a big slam from the top rope sending Kalisto right under the bottom rope for some recovery time. ADR hits an amazing counter off the Salida Del Sol by catching Kalisto in the top rope. Now Kalisto is in position for the foot stomp, but he ducks out of the way and hits another DDT for another way too close two-count. Wow. What a match this turned out to be. Another Salida Del Sol attempt reversed, but then a roll up pin gets Kalisto a HUGE WIN!!
RESULT: Kalisto wins via pin fall to become the new United States Champion!
THOUGHTS: GREAT MATCH. That's how an underdog match is done. Kalisto is one hell of a performer and he deserves this title run. A big upset for sure, but I'm sure that they have plans for Del Rio going forward. Great match!
PROMO: Charlotte and Ric(go away) are being interviewed. She brings up Becky and basically just talks about how she's better than all the other divas. Your standard stuff.
MATCH: Brie Bella vs. Charlotte (w Ric Flair)
Before the match can start Becky Lynch attacks Charlotte. Becky throws a lot of hands and tries to make a point before Charlotte can even take her belt off. "I'm taking your championship, and I'm taking your arm with me!" She screams as she leaves. Ric grabs a mic(WHY) and says "Charlotte is in no condition to compete because of your Becky Lynch."
RESULT: No contest I assume.
THOUGHTS: I liked Becky's attack and her line as she left. I cannot stand Ric Flair still being here though. Although I understand it. I just think its time Charlotte is her own person, but Ric stays around trying to keep her relevant when she does not need it. Charlotte would and will be a great heel Diva without him.
PROMO: Jojo interviews Becky and Becky goes on a tirade about how her and Charlotte broke in together. And how Charlotte is doing everything she said she never would. You go Becky.
ONE VS ALL MATCH: Roman Reigns vs. Everyone else..?
To be honest I have no idea what the hell is going to happen here.. So we're going to go with the flow here. Stick with me. It may be rough.
Sheamus, ADR, KO, Tyler Breeze, The Wyatt Family, The New Day, The Ascension, and Stardust. That's everyone I see. Along with Vince and Steph at ringside. It looks like KO will start the match and everyone else is kind of surrounding the ring. I'm very, insanely confused.
Stephanie says "You will face everyone of these men until you can no longer move."
I guess.. I guess I'll just tell you how he beats everyone or how he moves to the next competitor and who that is. I am very sorry because I have no idea how to cover this for you guys without it being too much for me to handle.
By the way expect Brock Lesnar to make an appearance. We saw him backstage, but he hasn't come out to the stage/ring area yet. No way he is there for one 5 second shot backstage. The Beast is coming.
Kevin Owens is first. The fight is going on for sometime with Owens really taking it to Roman as we head into commercial break.
We come back and Reigns is still taking on Owens. Kevin Owens hits one the best superkicks I've seen during this fight. I'm confused as to how Reigns is supposed to fight anyone else, because Owens is killing him. This fight with KO has been really good, and then a few people run in as he gets ready to Superman Punch Owens. He spears Tyler Breeze, and then Reigns says something Vince, and then Vince calls everyone to the ring. Roman is getting mugged. I'm feeling Lesnar. He's coming.
HERE HE COMES! THE BEAST IS ON HIS WAY. Lesnar acts like he is looking for Reigns, and then clears the ring of everyone. ADR gets a suplex. Sheamus gets a suplex. The man is the Oprah of suplexs. All that's left is Roman. He drags him to the middle of the ring, and walks around him then picks him up and F-5's him straight to hell. "Good God almighty the man has been broken in half!" internet points to whoever comments who made that quote.
By the way, my apologies for the covering of the main event. I feel like it was a little bit of a train wreck, but it was very confusing! If you have any questions feel free to comment, and I'll help the best I can.
RESULT: I have no clue. Everyone is dead except Brock.
THOUGHTS: The match was basically Kevin vs. Roman and that was very good nonetheless. The Brock Lesnar killing everyone part was rather predictable but it did not matter. It was amazing. I've missed Brock on TV's so its great to have him back.
In my opinion this was a great show, and really its shaping up to be a great Royal Rumble. WWE is doing everything they can to mask the voids of Cena, Orton, Rollins, and Cesaro. What did you think? Let us know in the comments below!
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