|WWE Fastlane 2015 Results|
Who will win? When the time comes, check out the live coverage of the 2015 Fastlane pay-per-view with results and review here.
You can check out my predictions here with the spoilers of all these matches and more.
Our panel for this evening is Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves and Booker T. (Once again, no Alex Riley. Hm...) They've covered everything from Sting to the movie Mean Girls.
MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman
The Miz tells Damien Mizdow to sit down in the corner like a dog. Heyman tells The Miz that he is a good actor, but even he can't hide how afraid he is of Brock Lesnar....who isn't here tonight. They really don't say anything. This is completely uneventful.
Six-Man Tag Team Match: Dolph Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowan vs. Seth Rollins, Big Show and Kane
I didn't expect this to be the opener instead of either the tag title match or the Goldust and Stardust match (or even the Intercontinental title match, for that matter). That downgrades the chances for Randy Orton's interference, but I'm still sticking with that prediction. Michael Cole specifically mentions that in a normal job, you can complain to the Human Resources department if you have a problem, but in WWE, you settle things in the ring. Erick Rowan's getting quite a bit of ring time, by the way, and not just jobbing out. Of course, after I say that, J&J Security get in some cheap shots and turn the tides so Big Show can start dominating Rowan. The fans start chanting "we want Ziggler / feed me more!" Rollins continues the beat down on Rowan, then tags Big Show in for some more. Rowan fights back. Rollins is tagged in and tries to stop Rowan from tagging in Ryback, but he's unsuccessful. The Big Guy is on a roll. After some distraction from J&J Security, Rollins hits a few choice kicks. Ryback catches Rollins and hits a Shell Shock, but Big Show splashes Ryback immediately afterward to prevent a pinfall. Ziggler and Kane are now the legal men with Ziggler in charge. Kane holds Ziggler while Big Show nails him with a WMD punch.
WINNERS: Kane, Big Show and Seth Rollins via pinfall.
This was a decent enough opener, but considering how it doesn't have any importance to it and is on a B-level free pay-per-view, it definitely came off like a Raw main event.
After the match, Rollins its a Curb Stomp on Ziggler. Ryback and Rowan try to fight some more, but Rollins, Show, Kane, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury all take them out. The fans start chanting for Randy Orton and of course, he comes out and cleans house. Big Show is able to pull Seth Rollins away from him, but Orton hits an RKO on Kane, Noble and Mercury.
Backstage, Dusty Rhodes talks to Goldust. Goldust says he hates that he has to fight Cody, but he's not fighting Cody, he's fighting Stardust. Dusty asks him not to hurt him because they both mean the world to him.
Goldust vs. Stardust
Stardust has some different attire, wearing slightly different face paint, no shirt, and his tights are white, black and blue. The fans start chanting "Cody", so he plays it up that he doesn't want to hear that. (Side note: seriously, Cody is so underrated and he better be a WWE World Heavyweight champion in the future.) The pace of the match is rather slow right now, with a lot of instances of them stopping. Stardust gets a bit cocky, trying to pin Goldust with just a foot on him and then doing a cartwheel. The pace is still rather slow and someone in the crowd is audibly yelling "boring". Out of nowhere, Goldust gets a random pin that just sort of happens and feels like a mistake or something of the sort.
WINNER: Goldust via pinfall.
This started out with a lot of promise, but was just way too awkward. It's a shame.
After the match, Stardust ignores his brother's requests to make up and he just leaves. Then, backstage, Goldust is talking to Dusty about how he tried not to hurt Cody. Stardust comes over to talk to them and say that they aren't done yet. He attacks Goldust and tells Dusty that it is Dusty's fault that Cody Rhodes is dead.
WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro
The crowd is kind of dead after that last match. Even when a Whisper of the Wind happens, there's no pop. Cesaro momentarily does a one-legged swing. Still no real pop. Cesaro hits his vertical suplex and Kidd follows it up with a springboard elbow drop for a two-count. Some decent Samoan drops occur, one of them being on the barricade. Kidd goes for a Sharpshooter. Jey blasts him with a superkick to break it up and then starts duking it out with Cesaro. Jimmy gets a two-count on Tyson. Kidd hits his neckbreaker type move (sorry, I don't know what it technically is) and they win the titles!
WINNERS (and new WWE Tag Team champions): Tyson Kidd and Cesaro via pinfall.
This match wasn't too special, but it was entertaining. The outcome was surprising as well, as I didn't expect a title change to occur.
Face-to-Face: Sting and Triple H
Triple H comes out wearing a leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans, and spitting his water rather than in a suit. Sting comes out to confront him. Triple H says Sting backed the wrong horse when he stayed in WCW, but offers him a lot of money when it comes to merchandise, DVDs, WWE Network specials and even an eventual Hall of Fame endorsement. Alternatively, Triple H can beat the legacy out of him and erase him from history. He throws the first punch and when Sting fights back, Triple H blasts him with a microphone. He then reaches under the ring and brings out his sledgehammer, but Sting has his baseball bat, forcing Triple H to drop the hammer. Sting points with his bat to the WrestleMania sign. When he turns his back, Triple H charges him, so Sting nails him in the stomach with the bat. He then gives him a Scorpion Death Drop.
WWE Divas Championship: Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige
When announcing Nikki Bella, Lilian Garcia must have had a brain fart. "She is...the WWE....women's champion..." For what it's worth, I kind of buy into Nikki being the champion. She's got a decent Alabama Slam and a powerbomb. There's a botch when Nikki is supposed to be thrown into the turnbuckle, but she either jumps too short or Paige doesn't toss her the right distance. Paige struggles to lock in the PTO (by which I mean she kind of just stands there and doesn't do it). Then, just like the Goldust and Stardust match, there is an awkward end with a random pin kind of out of nowhere as Nikki holds Paige's tights.
WINNER: Nikki Bella via pinfall.
Yeah...this wasn't good. A big reason behind that was probably the time, as this was really short. If you want to watch a good Divas match, go watch TakeOver: Rival.
WWE Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Barrett is trying to avoid Ambrose to an extent, while Ambrose is doing his crazy random schtick as well as he always does. I chuckled when Barrett went to throw Ambrose back into the ring and all he did was come right back out. I also am glad to see that Barrett watched Ambrose do that thing where he bounces off the middle rope and instead of being caught off guard by it, he simply gave him a Wasteland for his efforts. The second time this happened, it made more sense for Barrett not to see the clothesline coming. Barrett tries to leave with the title and get himself counted out. Ambrose disregards the referee's warning to stop kicking Barrett and disqualifies him.
WINNER: Bad News Barrett via disqualification.
This match was fun before the ending ruined it.
The Undertaker's druids come out. It must be time for Bray Wyatt to officially plead for the WrestleMania match. The Undertaker's theme starts playing and two more druids come out with a casket. Bray Wyatt is in the casket with microphone in hand. He says he used to fear Undertaker, but he's no longer what he once was. He's a mere mortal instead of the monster he used to be—just a shell of his former self. Wyatt thinks it's time for Undertaker to "go home". He is Bray Wyatt, the new face of fear. At WrestleMania, he will claim the soul of The Undertaker. The druids close the casket and the lights go out. Back to the kickoff panel.
WWE United States Championship: Rusev (c) vs. John Cena
One thing that is hurting this match is that John Cena is calling out his moves so loudly that you know what's happening before it occurs. I wonder if "watch out for the shoulder tackle" means a shoulder tackle is coming up soon. There isn't all that much substance to this. It's not bad, but it's not really that interesting to me. Rusev appears to be not as dominant as he usually is and Cena appears to be holding back as well. This doesn't have a lot of intensity to it. Cena puts Rusev in the STF, but after a minute, Rusev just kind of says "nah fuck that" and gets out of it with no pomp and circumstance whatsoever. Basically, they stall for a minute or so after that, and Cena puts him back in the STF. This is lame. Cena goes for his leg drop off the top rope and Rusev powerbombs him, then puts him in the Accolade. Lana comes into the ring to distract the referee and Rusev low blows Cena, then kicks him in the face, then puts him back in the Accolade. The referee rules this a win for Rusev, since Cena is out of it.
WINNER: Rusev via submission (sort of ).
So this was supposed to make me want to see another rematch between these two in a month? Give me a break. This did significant damage to the WrestleMania card and WWE could have avoided it if they just had done a different match. Nothing was accomplished in this match except for hurting the credibility of Rusev and setting up several weeks of the same repetitive "I got screwed but I'm going to fight back and get revenge on you" character from John Cena that we've seen countless times.
Number 1 Contender's Match: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Thankfully, some of the crowd is chanting for Roman Reigns and not just 100% on Daniel Bryan's back. That makes this more interesting. To be fair, though, the crowd isn't as hot as I expected it to be. They've had a nice exchange with both men looking rather strong, but this crowd is really hurting it. Bryan counters the Superman punch. They tease a count out, but don't follow through with it. Bryan hits the Knee Plus and Reigns kicks out. Bryan puts Reigns in the Yes Lock. Reigns escapes. Bryan gets ready for another Knee Plus, but Reigns hits a spear for the win.
WINNER (and still #1 contender): Roman Reigns via pinfall.
These two put on a decent match. Too bad the crowd didn't give much of a shit about it. Hopefully, people don't just get pissed off that Bryan lost and ruin the WrestleMania event for themselves and everyone else.
After the match, Daniel Bryan angrily tells Reigns that he'd better kick Brock Lesnar's ass, and then offers a handshake to Reigns.
1. Reigns retains and receives Bryan's endorsement
2. Baseball Bat vs Sledgehammer
3. Before and after the Stardust/Goldust match, but not the match itself
1. The booking of Rusev vs Cena
2. The booking of Ambrose vs Barrett
3. The Goldust vs Stardust match itself
Reasoning: Look, if you expected this to be filled with 5-star classic matches, you were foolish. Still, having low expectations going into this event doesn't mean WWE had every right to go ahead and waste everyone's time as much as they did. This event did more to hurt WrestleMania than it did to help it, which mean it is a failure. There were a few good things that happened, but a couple of sprinkles on top of a shitty sundae doesn't make it a delicious dessert, does it?
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