|WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Results|
Daniel Bryan faces off against Randy Orton with special guest referee Shawn Michaels in a Hell in a Cell match for the vacated WWE Championship. John Cena returns for a shot at Alberto Del Rio's World Heavyweight Championship. Goldust and Cody Rhodes defend the Tag Team Championship against The Usos and The Shield. Los Matadores vs. Real Americans. AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship. CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a Hell in a Cell match. This is all kicked off with the pre-show Intercontinental Championship match between Curtis Axel and Big E Langston....nevermind! Apparently, Curtis Axel has an injury and this match will be replaced by Damien Sandow vs Kofi Kingston.
On the commentary booth for the pre-show tonight are Kaitlyn, Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston and R-Truth.
On the pre-show, The Miz tells Vickie Guerrero that he's looking for a fight with the Wyatt Family tonight.
The Shield are having a promo face-off with Big E Langston who issues a challenge for the United States Championship.
Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston
Once this match starts, the coverage of the event will begin! Stay tuned! Wow, look at Sandow's gut. "I eat, therefore I'm fat" is more like it. (That's an overstatement for the sake of a joke, but he definitely did look bigger with that shirt on). This should be a pretty standard TV type of match that Sandow can come out on top for. It's weird that Sandow is still locking the briefcase to the turnbuckle post. Sandow hits his newest finisher, "You're Welcome" for the win.
WINNER: Damien Sandow via pinfall.
I'm glad Sandow has a new finisher, even though I think that could have been used for someone else, like Big E Langston possibly (as he has an even worse finisher than Sandow did). Sandow could be a good submission guy. Basic standard type of match. Nothing special or awful. Decent filler.
The Undertaker wins the poll for "Mr. Hell in a Cell". R-Truth just went on a nonsensical rant and Josh Mathews looked at the camera and mimed "lol what?"
Tag Team Championship [Triple Threat Match]: Goldust & Cody Rhodes (c) vs. The Shield vs. The Usos
Here's hoping they don't just start off with a great match and go downhill, but they keep the momentum going. That is, of course, if this match lives up to the hype, which I think it will. Solid match so far. Lots of action for each tag team to look strong. Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns are looking particularly good. Once all hell breaks loose, the Usos are REALLY looking like gold. Lots of false finishes and the crowd is really into it. Awesome Samoan Drop. Roman Reigns had a bit of a slip up with being knocked over the top rope. Cody Rhodes hits a superplex from the top rope onto the outside on top of the rest of the tag team members! Awesome! Nice teamwork with the Rhodes brothers which leads to Cody hitting his finisher on Rollins to retain.
WINNERS: Cody Rhodes and Goldust via pinfall.
Awesome match! This was as good as every match should be to make up for Battleground.
The Miz comes out. One of the two matches that they're adding out of the blue. "Bray Wyatt, get out of your Cracker Barrel rocking chair, leave your two hillbilly bushwhackers at the compound and get out here right now". Wyatt is on the screen instead of coming out. Rowan and Harper are in the ring now after the promo from Wyatt, attacking Miz. KANE comes out to help Miz. He looks skinnier and kind of weak. Even though he helps him, Kane gives Miz a chokeslam anyway.
Now Fandango is popping up, too! Random as hell tonight. Wow, Summer Rae is going to wrestle with Fandango. Weird.
Fandango gets on the mic. "Shhhh....shh......Miami....you think you know salsa dancing...." LMAO.
Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Khali & Natalya
Oh damn it, as soon as they announced the other tag team, it just ruined it. Why are they still a thing when they're showing Natalya with Tyson Kidd on Total Divas anyway? Is it just me or has Natalya lost some more weight? She looks good, probably better than ever. Summer Rae's not too bad in the ring. In fact, these two are working better together than Khali and Fandango. Summer Rae gets a roll-up on Natalya for the victory.
WINNERS: Summer Rae and Fandango via pinfall.
Low point so far, overall, but Summer Rae did rather well for her first match on a pay-per-view.
United States Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Big E Langston
So WWE is doing the same thing they did last time, where they're adding extra matches and throwing them all together, one after another. That's awkward. Hopefully, this match performs well and makes up for the slip down on the previous match. Ambrose is quite awkward, slapping Langston's stomach and such. He's showcasing his weird personality well. Crowd is bored. Big E got busted open underneath his eye, it seems...or on the side of his nose. Ambrose tries to leave. Langston brings him back. Big E spears Ambrose to the outside. Ambrose gets counted out.
WINNER: Big E Langston via countout.
It's a shame that this followed that previous match, as it hurt the start of it. That and the fact that it didn't really mean anything, of course. Hopefully, Langston can just win the IC title on Raw or something.
After the match, Big E gives Ambrose a Big Ending.
Hell in a Cell Handicap Match: CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman
The cell looks smaller and much more squared off to me. Maybe it's just me, though. Paul Heyman comes out with a lift....kind of. They can't seem to figure out how to ride it to the ring. At least they can crack jokes about it. "Heyman's going to be sea sick by the time he gets to the ring". Heyman is lifted to the top of the cell. Kind of boring to start off with. Ryback gets some vertical suplex into the cage spots out there, but it's not much. Punk sets up a table, which Ryback ends up using to crotch him on the side. Punk low blows Ryback, who just casually lays down on the table afterward. Punk goes to the top rope and gives him an elbow drop. GTS on Ryback, Punk wins.
WINNER: CM Punk via pinfall.
Now it's time for Heyman to get destroyed and everyone involved in this feud to move on to something else.
Punk climbs the cell with a kendo stick and starts whacking Heyman repeatedly in the stomach and back. He gives him a GTS.
Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans
Bleh...boring. Nothing of importance or interest going on. Aaaand nothing continues to happen until it's simply over with.
WINNERS: Los Matadores via pinfall.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena
Since this has nothing really going for it other than John Cena's return, it'll be interesting if they keep the energy up after Cena's entrance. Okay.....they haven't. This is about as bland as it could be. It's not atrocious with botches left and right, it's just not interesting. This is nothing different than a normal John Cena match mixed up with a normal Alberto Del Rio match. Del Rio has a cut on his face.We've got our first cross armbreaker of the night. I'm sure Cena will escape. As I type that, he picks him up and slams him down. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment and wins the title.
WINNER (and new World Heavyweight champion): John Cena via pinfall.
This match wasn't good...but at least Alberto Del Rio isn't the champion anymore.
Divas Championship: AJ Lee (c) vs. Brie Bella
Is Tamina really wearing overalls or something? Standard action. AJ isn't able to lock in the Black Widow submission. Tamina causes a distraction. Brie accidentally knees Nikki in the head which leads to AJ actually putting her in the Black Widow to retain.
WINNER: AJ Lee via submission.
Bob Backlund is backstage with the Prime Time Players checking out WWE 2K14 and promoting it. They all do the "millions of dollars" dance.
WWE Championship [Hell in a Cell Match]: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (with special guest referee Shawn Michaels)
Triple H comes out with the title. Bryan refuses to shake his hand. Nothing of much importance to report on yet. Orton hits a nice backbreaker after tying Bryan up with the turnbuckle's post. Bryan throws all sorts of chairs in the ring (not Terry Funk levels but still a lot in comparison to normal). Orton stacks a bunch of the chairs together in a pile in the center of the ring and gives Bryan a superplex on top for a two-count. Triple H comes down and inadvertently distracts HBK from counting a pinfall for Orton. Not long after, HBK is taken out, unable to count a pinfall for Orton. Triple H comes into the ring and throws Daniel Bryan off HBK from checking up on him. HBK superkicks Daniel Bryan. Orton climbs on top of Bryan and HBK counts the pin.
WINNER (and new WWE champion): Randy Orton via pinfall.
Meh....this wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be. It's not an immense let down and a horrible end or anything, but I was hoping it would be much better than this.
1. Tag Team Championship match
2. JBL's jokes about El Torito and Rey Mysterio
3. No more Del Rio as champion!
1. Natalya and Khali
2. No Intercontinental Championship for Big E Langston
3. Paul Heyman lift guy
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