The following are my predictions for WWE's upcoming ppv, The Bash...or is it The Great American Bash still? They've been saying both. Oh well.
WWE Championship (Three Stages of Hell Match): Randy Orton vs. Triple H
Please don't let HHH win. I don't want to see him champion ever again. The guy is so overrated its ridiculous, and the way he books himself to never lose is just absolutely disgusting. Naturally, these matches always end up on the third decision. As the first is a straight up normal match, I'm expecting HHH to get the pinfall, as it allows Orton to get two cheap wins with the Falls Count Anywhere and Stretcher stipulations, and we all know HHH doesn't EVER put himself in a position where he simply was straight up beaten. If the decisions don't go HHH/Orton/Orton, then mark my words: Orton will get the first pinfall out of some quick roll-up, which makes HHH look even more dominant. Prediction: Randy Orton retains, but is made to look like a jackass in the process, because he's dealing with "the all-mighty Paul Levesque". Time to roll my eyes.
World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
If they want us to take Punk as a credible champion, they can't make the mistake they did before. Last time he was champ, they made it so he couldn't beat anybody except Snitsky and JBL. This time, he has to be able to defeat his opponents. Despite how I like Jeff better, I hope for Punk's career that he retains his title in a clean finish. Prediction: CM Punk retains via GTS, and is booed the entire time, so they decide to fully turn him heel, and then they realize that too many heels are on Smackdown as it is, and panic lol.
ECW Championship (Scramble Match): Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay
A little out of left field, isn't it? Henry and Finlay have no business being in this match. I'd have much rather preferred to see Evan Bourne and Tyson Kidd get a shot. Doesn't matter. We'll see everyone get a pinfall at some point, in a match that you'd think would be fast paced, but in fact, it'll be rather slow, so it will dull the audience a bit. Prediction: Tommy Dreamer retains after scoring a pinfall on Mark Henry when Finlay hits him with the shillelagh.
Unified Tag Team Championship: The Colons vs. The Legacy
Why have this match now, when you know they're going to have it at Night of Champions as well? It seems like this spot on the card would have been better suited for Morrison/Edge. This has potential, but I'm not expecting it to be a classic. It just has the chance to be rather good, seeing as how Carlito and Primo are SOOO much better working together than they are on their own. Prediction: New tag champions, and we have a rematch at NOC.
John Cena vs. The Miz
PLEASE let the Miz win this!!! A win over John Cena will do WONDERS for Miz, while a win over The Miz won't do anything to upgrade Cena. Cena is as over as he's going to be. Pinning one of the future main event superstars isn't going to help him. But man, if Miz is able to not only stand up to Cena and give him a long, intense, back and forth match...but actually come out on top? Wow. They've got a volcano situation here, and they need to let it erupt, rather than fizzle out and make the Miz look like he's a worthless aquisition. Prediction: John Cena wins, since WWE seems hell bent on making it that Cena and HHH win every single match no matter what the consequences. :(
Intercontinental Championship (Mask on the Line): Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio
I haven't been as big of a fan of this feud as I was hoping to be. It just fell sort of flat. Clearly, Mysterio won't lose his mask, so either Jericho retains by disqualification or Mysterio wins the title back. I'm hoping we have a new IC champ, as I'd like to see Mysterio feud with Shelton and Ziggler over the IC title, rather than have Jericho feud with someone like R-Truth. Prediction: Rey Mysterio wins the title.
Women's Championship: Melina vs. Michelle McCool
Michelle is winning this. She's the only heel on the brand being booked as a credible competitor, and she'll feud with Melina, Maria, and Gail Kim, whereas Melina has nobody left to feud with outside of Alicia. I just pray that they don't give Michelle a microphone anymore, as she is atrocious at cutting promos. Melina is by far the most talented diva on Smackdown, so I'm HOPING she retains, but she won't. Oh, and this match will be a bathroom break lol. Prediction: Michelle wins after hitting the Faith Breaker or the Angel Wings or whatever the hell its called.
No Disqualification: The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler
I'm very surprised they added this match to the card, but not a rematch of Edge and Morrison. Hopefully, Ziggler goes over here, as he has a much greater future in the WWE than Khali does. Prediction: Ziggler gets a cheap win.