|WWE SummerSlam 2016 Results|
We have a 2-hour pre-show tonight with at least 3 matches scheduled (as Cesaro vs Sheamus has been bumped). Our panel consists of Renee Young, Booker T, Jerry Lawler and Lita.
12-Man Tag Team Match: American Alpha, The Usos & The Hype Bros vs. The Vaudevillains, The Ascension & Breezango
RESULTS: Team Babyface wins with a pin on Simon Gotch
THOUGHTS: Meh, this was a pre-show clusterfuck tag team match. The most interesting thing about it was how The Usos tagged themselves in to steal the pin, causing an argument.
Baron Corbin interrupts the kickoff panel to talk about Kalisto, saying he's not medically cleared to wrestle, but when he is, he'll put him on the shelf permanently. "That's a nice watch. Mine costs more." Amazing.
Sasha Banks talks with Tom Phillips, answering the Twitter questions. Nothing to report.
Charly Caruso interviews Cesaro, who is dressed in Goldfinger-inspired tuxedo. How short is Charly?
Sami Zayn & Neville vs. The Dudley Boyz
RESULTS: Sami Zayn and Neville via pinfall (Red Arrow on Bubba Ray)
THOUGHTS: Another skippable pre-show match, but nothing bad. It ate up some time instead of making it 2 hours of just talking.
Best of 7 Series: Cesaro vs. Sheamus
RESULTS: Sheamus via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: Called that one, as it makes sense for the heel to have the lead. As far as the match goes, it was good, but I hope they don't just copy and paste this six more times.
Kickoff is over with. It's time for the main 4 hours of SummerSlam.
Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens (Jeri-KO)
RESULTS: Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: Decent match. Kind of surprised about the outcome, but not hating it.
We've got a backstage barrage of everyone from the general managers and COOs to The New Day, Jon Stewart, kids, etc.
WWE Women's Championship Match: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte
RESULTS: Charlotte via pinfall (reversing the Banks Statement)
THOUGHTS: What was up with that botch, Charlotte? Jeez. Some good parts, some bad parts, but I'm disappointed in the finish.
Backstage, The Club reunites as AJ Styles hangs out with Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows (dressed in their lab coats). Finn Balor shows up, smiles, and walks away.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Apollo Crews
RESULTS: The Miz via pinfall (Skull Crushing Finale)
THOUGHTS: No complaints, nothing to really commend them on as being special, either. Maryse looked amazing, though.
AJ Styles vs. John Cena
RESULTS: AJ Styles via pinfall (clean, after a Styles Clash and Phenomenal Forearm)
THOUGHTS: Very good match, top to bottom.
Jon Stewart comes out to cut a promo. The fans don't seem too interested in hearing him speak. He claims to be an honorary member of The New Day.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day (c) vs. The Club
RESULTS: The Club via disqualification (interference from Jon Stewart and Big E)
THOUGHTS: Very disappointing segment, from Stewart's involvement to the disqualification ending. That didn't feel like it was SummerSlam, it felt like Raw.
WWE World Championship Match: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
RESULTS: Dean Ambrose via pinfall (Dirty Deeds)
THOUGHTS: Another solid match which hopefully will prove to people that Ziggler can still hang like before. The right guy won, but as far as I'm concerned, this was a great change of pace having two babyfaces go at it like this.
Becky Lynch, Carmella & Naomi vs. Natalya, Alexa Bliss & Nikki Bella
Eva Marie was teased, but didn't show up (as she's suspended). Nikki Bella is her replacement.
RESULTS: Nikki Bella gets the win for her team by pinning Carmella
THOUGHTS: Glad to see Nikki back, happy they teased Eva Marie and kept that going, and the match itself wasn't bad. Thumbs up.
WWE Universal Championship Match: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor
RESULTS: Finn Balor via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: This admittedly wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be, but I'm happy Balor is the champion. It's just a shame the title looks disgusting.
WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev (c) vs. Roman Reigns
RESULTS: No contest. The match doesn't start. They just brawl.
THOUGHTS: Stupid as hell. Can't wait to hear them say that you need to tune into Clash of Champions to see this and the Tag Team Championship match. So lame. This is SummerSlam, not Raw.
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton
RESULTS: The referee stops the fight when Brock Lesnar destroys Randy Orton. Brock Lesnar is declared to win by TKO.
THOUGHTS: This shouldn't have been the main event.
After the match, Shane McMahon comes out to stop Lesnar from continuing to pummel Orton, and he gets attacked by Lesnar for his efforts. Lame.
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