The rules are that each spot must be filled and only one person can be in each spot, so no ties can happen, nor can anyone opt out. No matter how difficult it might be, you have to pick.
Seeing as how Valentine's Day is coming up, we decided to do two special segments dedicated to it. On this week's episode of Smack Talk, we will be debating which WWE Divas would probably be the best overall to date, but we couldn't leave the ladies out in the cold by themselves. Therefore, this Call the Spot will be dedicated to five wrestlers who had comedic gimmicks based on being casanovas of some sort. Obviously, there have been more than five, so we are going with the funniest, rather than the most legitimate (hence why The Heartbreak Kid, Ravishing Rick Rude, and the like are not on here—sorry gals). So, out of these five men, how would we rank them on the hierarchy of importance if we were given the reigns to book the card?
5) RELEASED = The Punjabi Playboy Khali
Look...Khali sucks. We all know that. He was brought into the company as a commodity because of his size and he was kept on the roster due to his appeal in India. Because there are already two huge guys on this list, Khali is no longer special.
Plus...out of everyone on here, his gimmick was arguably the worst.
4) JOBBER = The World's Largest Love Machine Viscera
Nelson Frazier went by many name variations in WWE during his time. Originally Mabel, he was a rather big (no pun intended) name in the tag team and midcard division. After winning the King of the Ring in 1995, he was given a chance to rise higher on the ladder, but couldn't quite prove himself. Because of that, I can't justify giving him anything higher than the midcard role, and given the other people on this list, he has to be ranked lower. At times, he would surpass this as Viscera and he even seemed prime for an ECW title reign as Big Daddy V, but he mostly stayed on the undercard. His run as the World's Largest Love Machine was memorable to an extent, but not as something on the Hall of Fame worthy side of things.
3) MIDCARD = The Godfather
The Conductor of the Ho Train was one of the best characters of the Attitude Era. Charles Wright had previously gone through other completely different gimmicks as The Sultan of Voodoo Papa Shango (which has been getting a lot of attention on our outros as of late) and The Supreme Fighting Machine Kama Mustafa who would eventually go into the Nation of Domination. However, he truly hit his stride when he became the smoothest pimp out there on the roster. This would transition to an actual career in this field, oddly enough.
As great as this was, though, The Godfather is someone that was mostly comedic, which lends itself to the jobber role rather well and hinders him on this list. He's done many things in this capacity, such as being quickly eliminated from the Royal Rumbles that he's appeared. Being in the midcard, he would be best utilized as someone who could lose often, but the fans would still get behind.
2) UPPER MIDCARD = Val Venis
The Big Valbowski gets a lot of points on this list for his wrestling talent, as he's still able to go in the ring at the age of 43, but he gets even more for his character. The guy's finisher was called the Money Shot for fuck's sake! He had a signature move called the Big Package and the Venis Flytrap. Those names are just awesome. His gimmick was very risque back when he made his debut and it got over with the crowd very well. Val Venis is a 2x Intercontinental champion, 1x European champion, and a former World Tag Team champion from his WWE career. He was versatile in several different ways and stuck around for quite a long time. Venis is one of the safest bets to book as an upper midcarder, given this list. He edges out The Godfather because I've always felt Venis was better in the ring.
1) MAIN EVENT = Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry
Mark Henry is awesome. In almost any list, I would rank him high up in a Call the Spot due to how underrated he's been in his career. The World's Strongest Man has a legitimacy behind him that few do, not just because of his past records, but his all-around skill set. Henry is good on the mic, has the size that is self-explanatory, and definitely has the longevity to prove he's worth investing in. He also has an aborted hand of an offspring, but we won't get into that...