Yes! Yes! Yes! We only have two more episodes of Raw left until the big showdown in New Orleans and the air is thick with anticipation! Last week, Daniel Bryan—with seemingly the entire WWE Universe behind him—took over Raw and demanded a match with Triple H at WrestleMania 30. The demands didn't stop there, though, with Bryan adding his own stipulation so that if he wins against Triple H, he gets placed into the main event later that night against Randy Orton and Batista. While the leader of The Authority agreed to the stipulation, we all know that the Cerebral Assassin has something up his sleeve for our bearded hero! Speaking of The Authority, it seems the Devil's Favorite Demon Kane has his eyes on The Shield and their possible falling out as of late. Will John Cena be doing his comedy routine all the way to the Superdome or will Bray Wyatt introduce him to Sister Abigail and her bitter kiss? Brock Lesnar may have missed CM Punk last night on AMC's "The Talking Dead" but he'll definitely be getting his fix of dead people this evening with The Undertaker set to bring down the lights in the AT&T Center tonight! All this and more on a EXPLOSIVE episode of Raw so make sure to stay tuned!
The shows kicks off tonight with a replay of last weeks "Occupy Raw" segment, ending with Triple H being carted off after excepting Daniel Bryan's challenge. Replay ends with Triple H, mic in hand, center ring. Triple H let's the WWE Universe know that he's going to be the old Triple H at WrestleMania, and promises more discussion of the subject later on tonight with him and Bryan face-to-face. As Triple H begins to put down the mic, "The Animal" Batista's music hits.
Batista exclaims that he isn't "cool" with the fact that Bryan gets to be in the main event at WM 30, que Randy Orton's music. All three men complain about DB. Orton requests a No-DQ with DB later tonight and get's the go ahead from Triple H.
Orton calls out Batista, saying "If you could of just lived up to the hype", Batista retorts by calling Orton a paper champion who has the belt because of The Authority. Triple H calls out both Batista and Orton, saying he's tired of Hollywood actors and guys who can't win without his help. Triple H drops a bomb shell, stating Daniel Bryan won't win his match against him and that the Triple-Threat match will be Orton vs.. Batista vs.. Triple H! Orton catch's Batista with a blind RKO.
In a back stage segment Batista is caught seemingly walking out of the building saying, "Coming back was a huge mistake, I'm out of here.".
Back to the action in the ring!
MATCH: The Uso's vs. The Real Americans
Match opens to a "We The People" chant from the crowd. The Uso's get the advantage early until Cesaro hits Jey Uso with an effortless back-breaker. Swagger get's tagged in and loses the advantage almost immediately as the Uso's get a hot tag and begin beating up on Swagger. He finally tosses Jimmy from the ring for a much needed break.
The Real American's have "dominated" the action during the break according to Michael Cole
(shat-up Cole). Match goes on a little to long for this Texas crowd as they begin chanting "CM PUNK". Jimmy Uso get's a beautiful spinning wheel kick on Swagger knocking him out as Jey gets the tag. The Real American's get knocked out of the ring and the Uso's follow with there patented ring leap, Jey catching Swagger with his jump but just as Jimmy gets over the ropes on the other side of the ring, Cesaro comes from out of nowhere and gets a HUGE uppercut knocking Jimmy out cold! Cesaro hits is finisher for good measure and gets the pin over the Tag-Team champs.
WINNER: The Real American's via Pinfall
Raw returns to a flashback of Friday Night SmackDown where Kane gets left high-and-dry by The Shield during a match with The Big Show, ending with a spear on Kane. Camera goes back to the locker room with Kane saying that he needs a "United Shield" from here on out, he also tells the Shield that if they don't they will find out replaceable they really are.
Hornswoggle is back on RAW! (for tonight at least) He hands out some hugs to the announce team and gets interrupted by Bad News Barrett who says something not funny enough for me to remember to put on here. Sheamus' music hits and he comes down to the ring for a match with Titus O'Neil.
MATCH: Sheamus vs. Titus O'Neil
Titus comes out dressed as a leprechaun but it turns out luck was not on his side as Sheamus begins destroying him early. Christian is at the announce table crying about losing to Sheamus over and over. JBL makes a "Blue-dot" comment about Christian. Titus gets a hold of Hornswoggle and tosses him over his head, only to be caught by Sheamus! Sheamus beats on Titus for a while until finally putting him out of his misery with a Brogue Kick.
WINNER: Sheamus via Pinfall
Sheamus announces that he will be entering the "Andre The Giant Battle Royal" at WM30! Christian, upset because he wants to win the rumble, blind sides Sheamus, finishing him by putting him through the steel stairs.
*SIDE NOTE* Arnold Schwarzenegger will be next week's special guest!
Raw returns with John Cena making his way to the ring. John says "I'm afraid of Bray Wyatt.". He goes on to say that he's more afraid that the WWE Universe believes what Bray Wyatt says. That Bray is out to destroy the image of John Cena. That he is going to destroy everything that he has accomplished over his 12 year teenier in the WWE. Cena says that at WM 30 he will "Fight, for [his] legacy". Enter the Wyatt's on the titan-tron. Bray Wyatt, wearing John Cena gear, says that he can be just like John Cena. He could sell out and become John Cena. Wyatt says that he will make it his mission to show the WWE Universe how he see's John Cena. Follow the Buzzards...
*SIDE NOTE* I'm hearing a lot of mixed reviews about the Wyatt's. What do y'all think? I personally think their promo's are great and their in ring performance is just as good. Thoughts? Post at the bottom of this link!
Randy Orton comes out to the ring with a replay of him hitting his RKO on Batista. Daniel Bryan's music hits and the crowd acts accordingly.
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan gets the upper hand early and starts working Orton's leg on the ring post. Bryan seems to go for a running kick but Orton was no where to be found (BOTCH!). Bryan gets back into the ring only to knock Orton back outside towards the announce tables. DB does his flying Ram head-butt to the outside, knocking Orton down next to the ring. As DB follows up his move, Orton NAILS him out of nowhere with a kin do-stick. Orton yells "Ring the Bell! Oh you can't! It's No DQ!". He begins pointing the stick at someone off camera screaming "You did this!.....You!". Either he is talking about the fans or the bell-ringer guy is really the one pulling strings at WWE. Orton back-drops Bryan on the announcers table.
Orton still has the upper hand, nailing a brutal back breaker off the ring-post on the outside of the ring. Orton beats on Bryan but starts to get cocky, egging on the crowd. Daniel Bryan starts to build a comeback as the crowd screams "Yes!". After a kick out by Orton, DB notices the kin do-stick and begins WAILING on Orton with the stick and kicks. DB gets on the top rope but Orton no sells the brutal beating he just took and gets DB on the top rope for a SLAM to the mat. Orton again starts egging on the crowd and starts to do his "Viper" thing as DB rolls out of the ring, as Orton pursues, Bryan nails him again with a kin do-stick. Orton finds himself a chair and gets a couple hits off on Daniel Bryan as Bryan retreats into the ring. As Orton goes to hit DB with another chair shot BATISTA comes out of nowhere and hits Orton with a spear! DB pins Orton and Batista gives the Viper a Batista Bomb for good measure.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan via Pinfall
Michael Cole no sells the great match we just watched and dives right into a promo for the WWE Network before the bodies have even left the ring (shat-up Cole). The King botches the promo by screwing up his Kindle. Way to save this segment King!
Raw returns with Paul Heyman at the top of the ramp. He states that the past few WM matches that The Undertaker has had has been against people that Brock Lesnar has beaten with ease. Heyman shows a GREAT "hands of time" promo where it shows that Taker has barely beaten the people that Lesnar has dominated. Heyman states that "The Streak" and The Undertaker "Shall rest.... in... peace.".
If you didn't get to see this promo you should defiantly check it out, it was really well done.
Michael Cole says that he thinks Heyman brings up some good points about The Undertaker. (shat-the-fuck-up Cole)
Backstage segment where Stephanie McMahon cuts off Triple H's balls and puts them in her purse. I'm not kidding...
Fandango, Paden's man crush, dances out to the ring.
MATCH: Goldust vs. Fandango
Goldust comes out to the ring with Cody Rhodes, dancing all the way. Goldust is up to his old tricks at the beginning of this one. Definitely kicking up the weirdest level, dancing sexually throughout the match. At one point dancing towards Summer Rae who was on the ring-post, and scaring her so bad she fell off only to be caught by Cody Rhodes. The crowd is chanting "Goldust!" throughout the match. Michael Cole keeps calling Goldust "Dustin" on accident. Goldust might of (real-life) hurt himself in a botched move from the top rope. Goldust gets the win during a botched finish and look visibly pissed. Kicking the ring post and cursing. The camera keeps turning to the crowd or Fandango. It looks like Goldust might have cracked a rib. (or maybe they were selling this so well that I fell for it)
WINNER: Goldust via Botched Finish
Raw returns with Kane headed to the ring and complains about last weeks Occupy Raw segment. He said that things are happen during Raw that shouldn't be happening. He then turns to Jerry "The King" Lawler and asks him to come to the ring because he is responsible for it. Lawler declines Kane's advances... and The Shield's music hits. The Shield walked Jerry into the ring and Kane says that Jerry isn't in fighting shape but he still might enjoy beating him up. The Shield tell Jerry that "Daniel Bryan isn't coming to save you", and that The Shield always do what is best for business. Then they all slowly turn towards Kane (to his surprise) and start beating him mercilessly. Segment ends with a Shield fist bump over Kane's limp body.
Back from commercial break and the Bella Twins. Jerry says he wants to "Occupy" the Bella Twins.
MATCH: Diva's Match
There's a LOT of sexual tension coming for the Bella's and the announce team, so this match was hard to follow. Naomi, who broke her orbital bone during a match about a month ago, is wearing a AWESOME looking eye patch! She gets some time in the ring and looks great for a one-eyed diva! She pins A.J. for the win. I'll be the first to crack a pirate joke... "Naomi be a pimp pirate... cuz she's always got that booooty!"
WINNER: Naomi via Pinfall
After the match Tamina gets into a verbal confrontation with Lee until she finally has had enough and pushes A.J. Lee. Segment ends with A.J. staring down Tamina.
The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is...
Didn't Mr. T say that he would never want to be in the Hall Of Fame because WWE put Pete Rose in? Google it folks...
After a recap of Hulk Hogan's announcement about the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, Raw returns to an 8-man tag team match.
MATCH: 8-man tag Heels vs. Faces
Match hasn't even started yet and the crowd is chanting "Boring!". Big E and Ryback start things off with Big E getting the upper hand until he tags in Mark Henry. Ryback tags Mr. Perfect's "Not-So Perfect" son who gets beat up by Henry until Henry tags Ziggler who then loses the momentum for his team.
Back to Raw and Ziggler is getting the crap beat out of him by Alberto Del' Rio until he tags Damien Sandow who let's out a very whiny "Your Welcome!". Ziggler fights to get a tag while the heels tag in and out until Sandow is back in the ring. Ziggler finally gets The Big Show into ring who crushes the heels as they come into the ring. One by one the ring fills up with participants until all of them are randomly tossed OVER the top rope. When the dust settles it's just Big Show and Sandow in the ring and Show chokes slams Sandow and pins him for the win.
WINNER: Faces via Pinfall
*SIDE NOTE* Match with John Cena vs. Luke Harper on Friday Night SmackDown announced! Make sure to follow the show right here on SmarkOutMoment!
MATCH: Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston
The Wyatt's come out to an AMAZING promo for Bray vs. Cena to the music of Eminem. If you missed this promo definitely check it out!
Bray Wyatt looks like a beast against Kofi Kingston from the start of the match. He taunts and beats Kingston without Kofi getting in any offense, finishing him off with Sister Abigail's bitter kiss.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt via Pinfall
Triple H's music hits and he comes to the ring. He calls out Daniel Bryan to come out to the ring. Bryan obliges. Triple H reiterates that his wife wears the pants in their relationship. He also tells Bryan that everything he has done up to this point was not personal and what's best for business. He tells Bryan that he has no choice but to end the "Yes! Movement". Triple H says "No hard feelings in all this, may the best man win" and extends his hand which DB declines. Triple H admits that he has done everything possible to stop Daniel Bryan and he's still standing. He then tells Bryan that DB has a "Nice set (of balls)" and that he has earned Triple H's respect. As Triple H leaves the ring Stephanie comes out and says she is pressing charges against Daniel Bryan for last weeks transgressions. A handful of cops come to the ring and tackle Daniel Bryan and handcuff him. Triple H stops them from arresting him and then enters the ring with a kneeling and handcuffed Daniel Bryan. Triple H then kicks DB across the skull and begins to BRUTALLY beat Bryan. Bryan, who's hands are still handcuffed starts a small come back only to be stopped by Triple H smashing him on the announcers table. Triple H beats Bryan to the point of being uncomfortable to watch. He even tries drowning DB in an ice chest filled with water! Triple H then holds DB while Stephanie slaps him around. Bryan screaming "You hit like a girl!" over and over as she did. Triple H eventually hits DB over the head with a BRUTAL head shot and then drags his limp body to the center of the ring for a Pedigree. This went on for about 10min. before Hunter grabs the mic and let's the WWE Universe that this is The Authority's ring, and there is no "Yes! Movement!".
Well, that ending went on for a while! I have to admit it does get me excited to think that the WWE is getting out of the PG era, slowly but surely. No real big developments in story lines and not to many surprises but still an entertaining show. The WrestleMania promo video's were the highlights of this show with their goose bump inducing antics. If you missed out on them make sure and find your way to Google to check them out! Though Goldust looks like he hurt himself during the match, this should be a comedy match 101 class at NXT. It was humorous but still an entertaining match. Most people can't pull this off but Goldust did it with his signature swagger. All in all an entertaining show but not a 4 star Raw like last week. Thanks for coming here for your Raw updates and make sure check out the Raw Post Show that starts RIGHT NOW!
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