PREDICTIONS: I'm expecting Joe and Magnus to retain the titles just so Crimson and Morgan can feud with each other (Magnus and Joe keeping it just until they figure out who else they want to take it from them, maybe MCMG). Jeff Hardy to go over Kurt Angle unless they plan on doing a second match between the two, then Angle wins. Roode defeats Sting. Aries retains the title against Zema Ion. Kazarian and Daniels beat Styles and Anderson. James Storm defeats Bully Ray. Gail Kim retains against Madison Rayne.
To start off the pay-per-view, Bully Ray comes out, grabs a mic, and tells everyone to shut up. The crowd chants "we want Devon". "Do you know who I am?" = "boooooooo!!!" Haha...Bully Ray is one of the highlights of TNA for sure. He says he's trending worldwide because he's taking the ppv hostage. There's not going to be a ppv until he gets what he wants - his match against Storm to be a #1 contender's match. Storm says Ray has chicken legs (fans chant "chicken legs" in response).
James Storm vs. Bully Ray
Storm starts the match right off. Within barely any time, he hits the Last Call and gets the pin on Bully Ray.
WINNER: James Storm via pinfall.
Not much of a match to review as it was maybe 60 seconds long.
Backstage with Jeremy Borash & Austin Aries
JV-Uno @Bottomline333's question for Austin Aries is when Sting will smarten up and main event Austin Aries [good question]. Bischoff replaces Borash, but asks the question anyway. Aries says he already is the main event.
X-Division Championship: Austin Aries (c) vs. Zema Ion
Why does Zema Ion bring hairspray to the ring? Dumb. Ion keeps flipping over Aries repeatedly at different turnbuckles, so Aries just stops running and uses Ion's hairspray instead. Then, not to be shown up, does a cartwheel soon afterward. Aries knocks Ion out of the ring, grabs SoCal Val's phone and tweets. Ion does a nice corkscrew crossbody, but only gets a two-count out of it. Ion hits a moonsault on the outside (this time, not injuring Aries). Later, he mocks the pendulum elbow drop unsuccessfully. Ion tries to cheat with the hairspray and the title, but Aries still kicks out. Aries hits the brainbuster and follows it up with the Last Chancery, making Zema Ion submit.
WINNER: Austin Aries via submission.
Good match, as expected, since Austin Aries was in it.
Commercial for the Motor City Machine Guns. Hopefully they're the next tag champs.
Tag Team Championship: Samoa Joe & Magnus (c) vs. Crimson & Matt Morgan
Story of the match is (naturally) Morgan and Crimson not meshing well together. Everything else is taking a backseat. It makes Magnus and Joe look like even less of a tag team, but that's clearly what they are anyway, just transitional people thrown together to give Crimson and Morgan people to wrestle for their feud. Shame they didn't have a real tag team available to do that storyline with. Morgan wants Crimson to tag him in, but Crimson keeps refusing to. "We want Morgan", "no we don't" chants going on. Crimson starts losing, but Morgan tags himself in and cleans house. Crimson tags himself back in, Morgan tags himself back in afterward. Crimson is basically leaving, saying "I'm the winner of this team". Morgan says "fuck you, I don't need your ass". Crimson comes back in and spears Morgan, then leaves. Heel turn. Joe and Magnus double team Morgan and finish him off with an elbow drop for the win.
WINNERS: Samoa Joe & Magnus via pinfall.
Story for the match was good. Match itself, meh.
Backstage with Borash and Bobby Roode
Borash apologizes for Bischoff and says "what can I say about him that hasn't already been said about him backstage for 20 years?" He asks Roode a question from Ryan Gilmore asking how Roode is going to get in Sting's head. Roode seems like he doesn't know how to respond and kind of stalls and struggles. Storm comes over to him and says he's not looking for a match, he's looking for a fight.
Taz complains that it's a "hash tag" instead of a "pound sign". I agree.
Robbie E Open Challenge
He says every contracted wrestler already has a match. Fans chant for RVD. He decides to have it be a fan challenge instead. "These three chicks right here? Bro, they're like 400 pounds each, I'm not getting in the ring with them." He says he'll wrestle with SoCal Val later tonight. He says they'll pose instead. Devon comes out from the crowd and takes the challenge. Hebner says Terry needs to get out of the ring and starts the match.
Television Championship: Robbie E (c) vs. Devon
Robbie E tries to take a steel chair from Brooke Hogan who is ringside in the crowd, but she doesn't let him. Devon for the most part destroys Robbie E. Eventually, he hits a spinebuster and bam, new champion.
WINNER (and new TV champion): Devon via pinfall.
Backstage with Borash and Dixie
Dixie says Slammiversary is going to be in her hometown for the 10th year of TNA.
Knockouts Championship: Gail Kim (c) vs. Madison Rayne
I really hate Madison Rayne's theme, still. Why is Gail's theme basically the same as the Legion of Doom? Shame, cause I like everything else about her (how couldn't I?) They start the match off by grabbing each others hair. What is this, WWE? Does that mean they're going to follow it up with a half-assed one-legged "dropkick" and stupid screaming too? Reversals ("they know each other so well") are the majority of the match it seems. Madison screams out "we're not friends anymore". Taz mispronounces "Mickie Maniac" as "Mickie Mannequin". Gail hits her finisher and wins the match.
WINNER: Gail Kim via pinfall.
Not bad. By far better than what we'll see at WrestleMania with Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos versus Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix...ugh.
Backstage with Borash, Daniels, and Kazarian
Daniels says it's his game plan. Anderson's getting in the way of the history the three of them have.
AJ Styles & Mr. Anderson vs. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian
Blah blah blah. They cut to a guy in the crowd sitting next to Dixie Carter who is apparently the host of some Spike TV show. He looks bored. AJ does a very prolonged delayed vertical suplex on Daniels. Nice job. @LoneWolf26104 says Taz is always right...Taz makes it a point to let the audience know about the tweet. Ref in this match perpetually doesn't care that tag partners aren't behind the ropes in their proper spot. That's annoying. AJ counters Kazarian's finisher with the Styles Clash for the win.
WINNERS: AJ Styles & Mr. Anderson via pinfall.
Meh...I honestly wasn't feeling it.
Backstage with Borash and Kurt Angle
Kurt wants his kid Cody to watch him destroy Jeff, because Jeff is all that's wrong with wrestling nowadays.
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy
This is taking WAY too long for them to start this match. It's annoying me so much.There's some woman (women?) SHRIEKING in the crowd frequently. Good lord, someone needs to hit her with a chair right in the face. This woman just does not stop. That's really taking me out of this match and I'm considering muting this. This is one of those matches that the fans in the crowd are chanting "this is awesome" to, but I haven't been reporting anything because really, in my mind, there's nothing noteworthy happening. Hardy hitting Whisper in the Wind, for instance, is just a standard in his matches, not something crazy. People kicking out of the Angle Slam, standard. Twist of Fate attempts being reversed, standard. Blah. Angle uses the ropes and pins Hardy, or so they're telling us, because everything was a jumbled up mess and Hardy wasn't even pinned down, but whatever, it's TNA.
WINNER: Kurt Angle via pinfall.
Not a fan.
Backstage with Borash and Sting
Phillip Kaminski asks the difference between being a wrestler and being the boss. Sting says he's tired of that stuff, now it's time to wrestle.
Bobby Roode vs. Sting
Sting beats the shit out of Roode, Roode tries to leave, Sting stops him...you know how it goes. Roode works on Sting's legs. This is just Sting destroying Roode for the most part. The fans keep chanting that Sting still has "it". Seems like this is more about putting Sting over than Roode, which is a mistake in my opinion. Sting goes for a Scorpion Death Drop and hits it, but in the process, hits his head on the chair that Roode had set up in the ring beforehand. Roode puts his arm over Sting and wins the match.
WINNER: Bobby Roode via pinfall.
Didn't like it, especially not for the main event of a pay-per-view.
Roode throws the ref outside of the ring after the match. Roode gets another chair, then pulls Dixie Carter out from the crowd and puts her in the ring. Crowd is chanting for Hogan. Sting fights Roode off from hurting Dixie or himself. Roode then hits Sting in the back with the chair. Why isn't Storm coming out? Roode starts duct taping Sting to the ring ropes. Nothing is happening. This should have been on Impact, not on a pay-per-view after the main event...for like 10 minutes.
1. Austin Aries vs Zema Ion
2. The concept of Crimson wrestling the majority of the match out of ego
3. Bully Ray's promo
1. The main events didn't feel like main events to me
2. That woman shrieking (not TNA's fault, but still)
3. Devon's the new TV champ. I like Robbie E better
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