BLIND PREDICTIONS: It's much too early to end Jeff Hardy's title reign. If they have a single brain in TNA, they'll know this, and keep the title on Jeff. There have been rumblings that possibly the match will go down like Nash/Hogan where Big Kev just laid down, but I hope if they do go that route, they somehow give the audience a followup title defense that makes it worth their while. I don't expect that to happen, though, as more than likely Morgan will just get screwed somehow. Either way, Jeff retains in heelish fashion, or at least he should. If Team 3D is no more, they clearly can't win the tag titles, especially not from the Motor City Machine Guns. The X-Division title is tossed around like its a cheap hooker, so if Lethal drops the title, don't be surprised. Fortune won't be firing anyone, so EV 2.0 has to lose that match. Who gets fired...I don't know. Mickie James probably beats Tara. No clue about RVD/Dreamer. The Joe/Jarrett and Abyss/Dinero matches I think are dependent upon one another. You can't have all heels win on the ppv, so at least one of Jarrett/Abyss should lose, probably Jarrett, to keep Abyss and Joe looking strong.
X-Division Championship: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Robbie E
Subtlety, thy name is not "Cookie". Starting off kind of slow (which isn't necessarily bad; if you start off too fast, then slow down, its worse than speeding up). Suicide dive naturally brings about a "TNA!" chant. Guess we've got one of those crowds tonight that will be pleased by anything above a punch. Still a slow match and they don't look like they have amazing chemistry together. One thing I'll give them credit for is that twice when it looked like they were doing a "distraction = heel gets the win", Lethal still ended up getting the better. Of course, the third time is the charm, and with some help from Cookie and the overused oblivious ref scenario, Robbie E becomes the new champ, complete with a totally monotone delivery by Taz and Tenay.
WINNER (and new X-Division champion): Robbie E via pinfall.
I wasn't impressed, and I hope the ppv gets better from here. Key word "hope", not "expect".
Backstage with Mickie James
I still like Mickie a lot. I still also think that Tara is overrated (though not massively) and has never had an interesting character that I can remember.
Mickie James vs. Tara
Tara comes out first, announced as being accompanied by Madison Rayne, who is absolutely nowhere to be seen. Announcer fuck up, Rayne fuck up, or writer fuck up? Crowd seems split. Mickie's looking good tonight. Now the crowd seems to be primarily pro-Mickie. I guess half of them decided not to cheer for Tara anymore. They fight to the outside and despite being well over a count of ten, the match hasn't ended yet. After the equivalent of maybe 2 minutes, the ref finally calls for the bell, but they keep fighting. Nothing special at all...but of course, the fans do another "TNA!" chant.
WINNER: No contest.
I wasn't impressed...but I'd much rather watch that again than listen to some dreadful LayCool promo.
Tag Team Championship: Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Team 3D
I'm not expecting this to be that great, as even though the Guns are very entertaining, I don't think 3D are, nor do I think these two teams work well together. So far, its been slow and uneventful (kind of see a pattern forming with this ppv). Just as its apparently ok to go past a 10-count in the Tara/Mickie match, in this match, apparently its ok to have all four competitors in the ring at the same time. TNA loves to ignore rules. Tables are allowed too despite this not being a no-dq match. Sabin kicks out of the 3D. The Guns hit their neckbreaker/crossbody combo and win (accompanied by Tenay delivering a horribly monotone response, again...whatever happened to being excited?)
WINNERS: The Motor City Machine Guns via pinfall.
I wasn't impressed....and I never gave a shit about the Dudleys so the whole retirement thing doesn't resonate with me either. I'm sure it does for some, but not for me.
Backstage with Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer says RVD will find out who his true friends are. I guess he means himself, otherwise known as the guy who is going to attempt to beat him up in a minute. But then again, Raven and Dreamer were supposedly in a damn near blood feud at Hardcore Justice and then started tagging up in the same stable...so...that whole senseless idea isn't unexpected.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam
Nothing interesting to really report on here. Slow...bland...you know how it goes. What's the point of advertising special no-DQ matches when every single time someone that used to be on ECW comes out, they're allowed to use chairs, ladders, tables, etc? It renders it moot, and as said earlier, ignores the rules. The match kind of comes to a halt and they're claiming that Dreamer broke his wrist or something. I'm inclined to believe its fake as it seems to work with the storyline. If its real, then thumbs up to Dreamer for continuing to wrestle with an injury...but I doubt it. After a frog splash on Dreamer on top of a chair, RVD gets the win.
WINNER: RVD via pinfall.
Should I say whether or not I was impressed?
Backstage with Fortune
Flair says thank God that match is over and nobody cares about two EV 2.0 guys taking each other out. I agree. Styles claims he wants to keep all of Fortune together so they can keep beating up on them. Yep, all of Fortune, he said. Basically the whole promo is "we're gonna beat them, they're losers, we're awesome"...you know, heel stuff.
Fortune vs. EV 2.0
Ok, so I guess this 10-man-tag match has no rules for multiple people in at the same time either. No count outs, no disqualifications...what's the next match on the ppv, no submissions, pinfalls, turnbuckles? Kendrick leaves with the trainers supposedly from some sort of injury. EV2 gets beaten down most of the match. Now they're at the typical "everyone hits their finishing moves on each other" situation. Styles Clash, Sabu gets pinned, Fortune wins.
WINNERS: Fortune via pinfall.
I was really impressed. Nah, just kidding.
Backstage with The Pope
Dinero yells a lot. Tara and Mickie are apparently still fighting as they interrupt. Madison Rayne attacks her, yells that she doesn't belong there, and then they leave.
Lumberjack Match: Abyss vs. The Pope D'angelo Dinero
I'd write something down, but all the results I can give you so far are "this match is boring, nothing is happening, and I'm struggling very hard to continue watching it". It isn't the worst match I've ever seen, but its just not the slightest bit interesting to me. The previous tiresome matches certainly didn't help this one's chances. It is at best a generic TV match...certainly not a "wake you up from this boring ppv" match. Bischoff comes out, does the money gesture (you know, rubbing fingers together), and the congregation attacks the Pope. Black Hole Slam, match is over.
WINNER: Abyss via pinfall.
Backstage with EV2
Hemme tries to talk to Sabu but Richards comes out of the locker room. Richards challenges Styles to a match on Impact.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe
Jarrett gets on the mic and claims he never sold out and if everyone doesn't shut up, he'll have Bischoff cancel the main event. Joe comes out and goes after him. Now in this match, when Jeff goes for a steel chair, the ref stops him. Why not in the other matches? If anything, wouldn't Jarrett be allowed and the others not, considering Jarrett is supposed to be one of the ones with power over the company? Jarrett hits a Stroke from the top rope but Joe kicks out. There's no surprise from the crowd, nor the commentators (though judging from earlier, Taz and Tenay don't have any excitement about any of the matches....can't really blame them). Since they need to do it in every ppv now, the ref is taken out. Security comes down to attack Joe but he takes care of them. Jarrett hits Joe with a nightstick. He chokes Joe out. One of the security members literally throws the ref into the ring, which is apparently the cure for being knocked out, as he's perfectly fine after that. Jarrett wins by a rear choke after having used the nightstick to do most of the damage.
WINNER: Jeff Jarrett via submission.
Match of the year. Lol. What do you think?
Backstage with Bischoff
Eric spits a bunch of 90s catch phrases and the congregation basically says "rabble rabble rabble" around him.
TNA Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Matt Morgan
I like Morgan overall, and I used to like Hardy. I don't like this Immortal storyline though, and I don't think the way this ppv is going that this will be anything special. Morgan isn't playing the "big man" role really as Jeff is kind of being booked as his equal. I'd rather see that than the typical "heel is a weak coward" crap, so that's good. Following up with another theme of the night, where everyone kicks out of finishing moves, Jeff kicks out of a chokeslam and Morgan kicks out of a Twist of Fate/Hate. Morgan gets a three-count on Jeff, who has his shoulders down, and for some reason kind of half-assed taps the ref on the head with his foot, but the ref claims its a 2-count. Why? I have no fucking clue. I guess Jeff was too high to realize that he was supposed to kick out. It takes them a good 45 seconds before they figure out what they want to do next, which includes a very easily foretold Whisper in the Wind, followed by a Twist of Fate, and Jeff retaining.
WINNER: Jeff Hardy via pinfall.
Strictly on paper, these two had potential to have a good match. They didn't.
Immortal celebrates in the ring. I celebrate at home, because this ppv is finally over.
Bottom line, I loved this pay-per-view. Hahaha. No, seriously, I found it very, very boring, and I wanted so badly to just turn it off. I'm sure there are those that will disagree with me on it, and to each his own, but I just didn't find really any bit of this ppv to be entertaining.