BLIND PREDICTIONS: Angle's retirement stipulation alongside Ken and Jeff not being the most reliable guys out there means I'd be extremely, extremely surprised to see Angle not win the title here. Abyss is teasing that "they" are coming, so I guess RVD loses that one. I'm really hoping Fortune comes out on top. I have faith the MCMG will as well. As far as the Knockouts go, I'd like to see Angelina retain, but in reality, I just don't want to see Tara win. Joe and Jarrett should win the handicap match. Williams should win the X-Division title, but only if both MCMG and Angelina love retain their titles, otherwise its new champ overload. Ink Inc I'd like to see win that tag match but I don't think anybody really cares about that one.
TNA Tag Team Championship: Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me
Always a good idea to start a ppv with the Guns. Per usual, you've got your fast action, lots of high-flying moves, a ton of kicks, etc. Nothing really different, but still entertaining. A bunch of near-falls towards the end, but none of them really felt too dangerous to me. The Motor City Machine Guns eventually pick up the win.
WINNERS: Motor City Machine Guns via pinfall.
Not their best match. It wasn't bad, but I've seen better and I expected it to be better. It does the job of giving the ppv an energetic start, but I was disappointed.
Backstage with Madison Rayne and Tara
Madison makes fun of Hemme's hair, calls her a bitch and a skank, and says Tara won't turn on her. Tara the whole time looks like she disagrees.
Knockouts Championship [Four Corners Match]: Angelina Love (c) vs. Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne vs. Tara
Special guest ref Mickie James really has country music for her entrance? Poor Mickie. I used to like her, but country music is inexcusable. I don't know how many times I've said it and I don't know when I'll stop saying it, but man, Velvet Sky is the hottest girl in pro wrestling right now. I'm not exactly sure why this has tag rules, seeing as how the champ isn't in the ring at all times. Quite a bit of Velvet instead of Angelina, which again is surprising. Now, everyone's in the ring and apparently it isn't against the rules anymore. After a series of roll-up reversals, Tara pins Velvet to win.
WINNER (and new Knockouts champion): Tara via pinfall.
Not as good as it could have been. I'm starting to see a pattern here.
Backstage with Eric Young
What is up with this Young/Orlando team?
Ink Inc vs. Eric Young & Orlando Jordan
Bathroom break match feeling. Ok, maybe I missed something here since I didn't see Impact, but it looks like both teams are faces, Eric Young is actually attacking Orlando Jordan at times, and it's not a handicap match. Is this just a clusterfuck of "eh, I don't know" or is there a point to it that I'm unaware of? Eric Young somehow switches to the opposite team...because he's carrying around a rule book, or something. This is making the fans go nuts. I REALLY must be missing something here.
WINNERS: Ink Inc.
Yeah, I don't fucking know either. There's a title defended between 4 people, but it has tag-style rules, and it is followed by a tag team match where everyone is against each other. Did someone backstage have booking-dyslexia?
Backstage with Jeff Hardy
Jeff says he'll be world champ. That's about it.
X-Division Championship: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Douglas Williams
What was the point of having Jay Lethal drop the title to Amazing Red and then regain it? Just to convince people that titles can change hands at house shows? I never understood when a wrestling company would do that, unless it was because of an injury. Lethal lands kind of awkwardly on his head when Williams throws him with a quick German Suplex, but doesn't seem to be injured. Lots of typical wrestling from these two. Forgive me for not wanting to type out "Lethal punches Williams, throws him into the ropes, and Williams kicks him". I don't think anyone really wants to read that. Just the highlights. For instance, Lethal just kicked out of the Rolling Chaos Theory, and Taz said what I believe is his first "fustrated" of the night. Williams tries a hurricanrana from the top rope but Lethal reverses it into a sunset flip pin, retaining the title.
WINNER: Jay Lethal via pinfall.
About what I was expecting. Not bad, but I won't remember it in a week.
After the match, the Jersey Shore parodies attack Lethal. I really, really, really hate the idea that they couldn't think of any better name to parody Snookie than "Cookie". That's just so stupid. Eckos says Lethal's a disgrace to Jersey and he's after the title.
Monster's Ball: RVD vs. Abyss
Abyss gets the mic, says nothing really, and gets interrupted by RVD. RVD basically dominates for the first few minutes. Abyss goes to chokeslam RVD onto the barbed wire but RVD reverses and bulldogs him on it instead. He then misses the Rolling Thunder and his back lands on the barbed wire. Abyss sets up a table between the security railing and the ring apron on one side and another barbed wire sheet likewise on the opposite side. Abyss ends up laying down on the table, allowing RVD to hit the Rolling Thunder on him, so naturally, both go through the table onto the outside. RVD showboats and doesn't pay attention, so Abyss throws a chair at his head and RVD falls off the top rope into the barbed wire. You can hear the ref say "oh my God, it's in your mouth". Ouch. Abyss sets up another barbed wire board against the turnbuckle but RVD pushes him into it face first. He uses that to go coast-to-coast, then misses a frog splash. Abyss gets Janice but swings and misses. RVD throws a chair at him and picks Janice up and hits Abyss in the stomach with it. He follows it up with a frog splash and wins.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam
A little better than I was expecting, actually, and I'm surprised that RVD won as I figured "they" would somehow cost him the match. Credit where credit is due, as always, though that's not me saying that this was amazing or anything, just better than I thought it would be.
Absolutely nothing happens with "them". Yeah, you read that correctly. That whole 10/10/10 stuff means nothing but "wait longer". I'm sure I won't hear a lot of TNA fans complaining about it for some reason even though they should.
Samoa Joe & Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash, Sting, & the Pope
This is supposedly Nash's last match but he's really not spending any time in it at all. It's been mostly Joe with Sting or Pope. Joe goes to tag in Jarrett, but Jeff walks away, leaving Joe in the ring against all three others. Nash Jackknife-powerbombs Joe and picks up the three.
WINNERS: Sting, the Pope, and Kevin Nash via pinfall.
If that was really Nash's last match, I'm glad he got the pin. The match itself...well...what have I been saying a lot so far? Repeat.
Backstage with Mr. Anderson
Ken says he apologizes to everyone in Kurt Angle's life but he's going to have to end his career tonight.
Team 3D's Announcement
Ray and Devon come out and Ray starts talking about their past accomplishments. Ray announces that there's nothing left for them to do, so they're officially retired, but they want one more match, with the Motor City Machine Guns as they're "the best tag team in the world". If they win, they become 24-time tag champs and retire. If they lose, then the Guns get to say they retired them.
Lethal Lockdown: Fortune vs. EV 2.0
Fortune has a lot of potential as a group so I'm hoping they win. I'm also hoping this match is good as I'm starting to really lose interest. Kazarian's in the ring starting off with Stevie Richards. The five minutes ends and AJ Styles enters. Dreamer's the next one in. Next up is Roode. Again, I apologize for not typing out all the moves that are going on, but really, there's nothing to talk about. Next in is Sabu. Storm's next. Followed by Raven. The final entry for Fortune is Matt Morgan. Rhino comes in and cleans house and gores James Storm. The weapons come down. Foley and Flair fight on the outside while everyone climbs, attempting to take a weapon down for themselves. Raven and Morgan go punch-for-punch with a kendo stick and trash can lid. Kazarian and some others (can't tell who, outside of Richards) are outside the cage. Richards and Kazarian are on top, trying to fiddle around with a table. Kendrick shows up, attacking Kazarian and backdropping him through the table on top of the cage. He then starts to meditate or something. Dreamer wins the match by pinning Styles after the Dreamer Driver.
WINNERS: EV2.0 via pinfall.
You're going to hate me for this, I know it, but this was disappointing as well. Everything that happened before the weapons came down was a total bore and then afterward, there wasn't anything particularly interesting to save it.
Backstage with Kurt Angle
He's focused on his match and he always steps up to the plate and so on and so forth.
TNA Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson
Double German Suplex kind of leaves Hardy landing awkwardly on his head. Second time tonight that that happened to someone, second time that the person's actually ok. Lots of back and forth action (as you'd expect in a triple threat match). Angle puts an ankle lock on both Jeff and Ken, which I'll admit is pretty cool and I don't remember ever seeing that before. Jeff Swanton Bombs both of them and fails to pin either of them. Jeff kicks out of the Angle Slam. Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind on Angle, the Twist of Fate on Anderson, and then the Swanton on Anderson. Before he can get a three-count, Angle puts Jeff in the ankle lock. Jeff pushes him into Anderson who Mic Checks Angle and actually gets a three-count, but they pretend like Kurt had his shoulders up in time. (At least, it looked that way to me). Angle moonsaults Jeff, two-count, and Jeff somehow jumps out of the ring. Kurt accidentally clotheslines the referee. Poor Hebner, he seems to get taken out of a lot of matches. Eric Bischoff comes in with a steel chair and starts winding up to hit Angle. Hulk Hogan's music plays and he comes out in crutches. Hogan basically hands Bischoff one of his own crutches and the two of them look like they're going to swordfight. Hardy takes Hogan's crutch away from him and hits Angle. Bischoff hands Jeff the other crutch and Jeff hits Anderson, then gives him the Twist of Fate. Bischoff drags Hebner back into the ring and Jeff gets the pinfall on Anderson.
WINNER (and new TNA champion): Jeff Hardy via pinfall.
I didn't see Jeff winning this, so kudos to them for proving me wrong. The match was pretty good, as well.
Abyss and Jeff Jarrett run into the ring and celebrate with Hardy, Bischoff, and Hogan. RVD comes down to argue with Jeff Hardy, who hits him.
Well, there you go. I'm an honest guy, and honestly, I didn't enjoy this ppv. The main event was a good match but everything else, save for RVD/Abyss to an extent, was a let down.