HAHA. They start off the ppv with a promo that says they'll sacrifice their blood...their blood...their blood. Is this going to be the same as Destination X, where everyone bleeds to prove that they're not PG? God I hope not. The Red Cross will be pissed.
Tag Team Title Number 1 Contendership: Motor City Machine Guns def. Beer Money vs. Team 3D
Three teams that turn heel/face quite often. The crowd is basically cheering for all of them up front, but not one any more than the others. Well, maybe for 3D. No, maybe not, the crowd just lost their enthusiasm for them. Half the fans are chanting for Shelley, half for Roode. I swear, Shelley looks like he could be a clone of Joseph Fiennes. Nice double teaming from the MCMG (as if there's any shocker there, seeing as how they're a great tag team). It's a good decision for TNA to have this as the opener. All three teams are over and the Guns can upgrade the pace if they feel that the attention is waning from the crowd. Sabin misses a high risk and Ray calls him stupid. A minute later, Ray misses a high risk. Karma's a bitch. MCMG are definitely the highlight of this match and the crowd's decided to embrace them more than BM/3D. Though, naturally, when they do their Beer Money chant, the audience joins in. GREAT springboard tornado DDT from Sabin. The Guns win with a neckbreaker/splash double team. I just realized that I didn't notice any botches yet. This may be a first for TNA haha.
Global Championship: Rob Terry (c) def. Orlando Jordan
Jordan descends into the ring using some pink straps of some sort. Taz actually made me laugh when he said he feels like he's watching Cirque du Soleil or Lady Gaga. For someone as big as Rob Terry, it's surprising that he can do a spinning heel kick. The crowd is actually pretty behind him. They should capitalize on that and continue to build Terry up as, for lack of better words, the next Goldberg. The WWE is probably so pissed that they don't have him and they'd probably scoop him up in a moment. Goldust 2 without the charisma or particularly interesting character...aka Orlando Jordan...loses after a chokeslam and attacks Terry's hurt leg after the match. Is that supposed to be the controversial thing that they were talking about? Cause if so, that's incredibly lame and not controversial whatsoever.
Backstage with 3D
Devon and Ray are talking about how they lost. Ink Inc. comes into the locker room and 3D talks about how much they like them and whatnot. Shannon Moore plugs Dilligaf again. Ugh. Ray then bitches about how they said they'd take care of the Band for them.
X-Division Championship: Doug Williams def. Kazarian (c)
Taz screws up, saying Williams is wearing the tag title. He then says Doug was stuck in a volcano. That's one tough guy. Oh God, Tenay just said that some people thought Kazarian leaving was career "suicide". Time to roll your eyes, everyone. This match isn't exactly holding my interest. Some bottled water commercial even distracted me for a few seconds. I think five times in this match, Williams has landed on his back and then flipped over. Is he combining Evan Bourne's selling techniques with Ric Flair's? Williams retains.
Knockouts Championship/Career: Madison Rayne (c) def. Tara
Since Lisa's leaving, it's obvious she should be losing this match. Frankly, I don't care. I just want to see the Beautiful People. Damn these girls are hot. Did they just say Madison got nailed from behind? Niiiice. The crowd's really split between these two. Insert joke here, amirite? Tenay ever so casually says that Tara is gone from the company. That's one of the main things I can't stand about TNA. Their commentary is so outlandish at the most ridiculous times and then when it calls for some emotion, they're flaccid. Yes, I had to word it that way. It was very much necessary. Tara takes her tarantula out, for some reason, and "security" comes into the ring to escort her out.
Backstage with the Band
Hemme's with Young, Hall, and Nash. They say they're going under the Freebird rule, so by proxy, Young is a tag champ.
Tag Team Championship: The Band (c) def. Ink Inc.
Compared to Moore, Hall looks huge...both tall and fat. Still, he's probably not drunk or high right now, so that's an upgrade. Actually, Hall's been doing better than I thought he would be with this return. His in-ring performance isn't as good as it was in 95 by any means, but for someone with all those problems, he's not as bad as you'd think. Taz can easily say "abdominal stretch" three times in a row, yet he can never pronounce "frustrated" correctly? Young comes down and introduces a Singapore cane into the match but it backfires. Brother Ray then comes down, hits Eric, and then hits Neal as well. Young drags Nash over Neal and they retain. I guess you can look at Ink Inc feuding with 3D now while the Band moves on to the MCMG.
Abyss def. Desmond Wolfe
Making his way-a to the ring-a. From the United Kingdom-a. Desmond-a. Wolfe. Man, what's up with the announcing? Someone get a Santino rush? Was the audience just chanting "Let's go Hogan" for Abyss, or did I hear them wrong? Split crowd, again. Best parts of this match are when they cut back to Chelsea looking upset in that cute kind of way. Other than that, this is very standard. Wolfe's got talent, and I'd like to see him succeed as he's one of the more entertaining people in TNA right now, but I've never been a big Abyss fan. Chelsea gives Desmond some brass knuckles, but Abyss kicks out, because of the magic ring. Ugh. That's such a stupid storyline. It works for Lord of the Rings...not wrestling.
Backstage with Kenderson
Anderson calls himself an asshole, his fans Anderson's Assholes, and makes fun of the people that chant for Hardy. The man calls his fans assholes and gets cheered. Hilarious. The way he's acting in this promo seems more like an arrogant face than a heel. Maybe they're looking to try to capitalize on the Orton and Austin types by turning Ken into a tweener.
Jeff Hardy def. Mr. Anderson
Right off the bat, a bunch of fans start chanting "I'm an asshole". This whole ppv seems to be matches where the fans are split. Go ahead and kill me for saying it, but this was boring. There's nothing to talk about except Anderson's handshake offer at the end, which seems to be an indication of the previously mentioned face turn.
Backstage with Flair and Styles
I still don't like Styles trying to be Flair.
Sting def. Jeff Jarrett
Welcome back to WCW. Sting and Jarrett are fighting backstage and Jarrett's bleeding. Well, you knew they'd have to have someone bloody. They're not PG, remember? Tenay is seriously annoying the fuck out of me by constantly speaking without emotion but clearly reading off narration of what you should be feeling. At least Taz sounds like he's mad or excited or happy when he's stuttering like an idiot. Tenay just blandly states "I want answers for bad guy doing bad thing. Hey now, stop hitting good guy. Aw shucks. By golly, you're not playing nice." This whole "match" was nothing but Sting beating the crap out of Jarrett until he got into the ring, the bell sounds, he gives him the SDD and pins him. I'm sure they thought that it was epic. I think it was shit. It doesn't help that they're spending a whole lot of time afterward to do nothing but have Jarrett put on a stretcher and Sting attack him again. Oh great, Hogan's out. Time for him to talk to the fake paramedics and do ground control. Even better, cut to Tenay and show that he has even less emotion in his face than he does in his voice. Time to announce in stoic fashion that it was the most brutal disgusting vicious (insert 6 other overblown adjectives) you've ever seen in your entire life until next week. Just what we were missing: a recap of what just happened. Yaaaay. If you couldn't follow what happened, you're an idiot.
Backstage with LSD...er...RVD
Duuude maaaaan. I'm the champion? I have no idea what's going on. Where's Jeff with my stuff?
TNA Championship: Rob Van Dam (c) def. AJ Styles
Rob Van Dam accidentally smacks a light on his way to the ring and scares himself. Time to unfortunately listen to his god-awful music. What feels like 10 minutes after the bell rings, they finally start the match. No. I spoke too soon. Two kicks later, they decide to stop again. Thank you, Taz, for saying 'fustrated' again. That always makes me laugh. I really want to hear this guy pronounce the word "February", or maybe try the "Peter Piper" tongue twister. The universe might collapse upon itself if that happened. Again, I'm going to catch hell for saying it, but I think that both Styles and RVD are massively overrated. In the small pond of TNA they're main eventers, but in the WWE, they'd be midcarders. The only things separating them from the likes of people such as Carlito are work ethic and spots. There's nothing at all to talk about in this match as anything you haven't seen before. It's nothing but the standard things coupled with lots of slow pacing for two guys that have reputations for being fast. "There's not one person in this building that's not watching this match." Uh, Flair, that IS the reason they're here. If they paid to not watch, they'd be morons. And I'm glad that every single person in the building just witnessed that horribly slow set of pin reversals which the crowd went silent for. Jay Lethal comes out to stop Flair from getting to the ring. This means the match will end in the next minute or so. Yep.
And that's it. Not sure what else I can comment on. Leave yours.