Sheamus Attacks HHH
Here we go, this is how HHH will be losing, since he can't just plainly lose.
The Miz and Big Show come out to complain about how they're not on the card. Teddy comes out and schedules a tag team gauntlet. If any of the three teams pins ShoMiz, they get a tag title shot tomorrow night on Raw.
Tag Team Gauntlet: Hart Dynasty def. ShoMiz
First up is John Morrison and R-Truth. This ends with Morrison being disqualified by not releasing a pretty cool triangle choke on Big Show after a five count. Next up is Mark Henry and MVP, whom I forgot about completely. They lose, naturally, after Big Show punches MVP out. Right afterward, the Hart Dynasty comes down, hits their finisher, and wins. Saw it coming, but oh well, not bad, and it gets these guys on the card.
CM Punk def. Rey Mysterio
Striker plays the heel role up quite a bit during this commentary, defending Punk every moment he can while Cole and Lawler defend Rey. Despite Gallows and Serena being ejected, the finish comes when someone (they didn't show who) comes from under the ring and attacks Mysterio. Unfortunately there was way too much time between that attack and the actual pinfall as Punk had to get Rey back into the ring. This killed all the momentum. The two obvious possibilities for who it was are Darren Young and the rumored Joey Mercury. I guess we'll find out tomorrow night or so. Not a bad match by any means, really.
Strap Match: JTG def. Shad
Shad comes out with new music and new ring attire, both of which I'm kind of 50/50 on. Striker and Lawler argue about whether or not Memphis has more crime than New York. Cole fucks up, saying "I forgot you were a math teacher" to which Striker replies "Social Studies, but who's counting?" The crowd kind of died out midway through. "1, 2, Shad's coming for you. 3, 4, lock your door. Lock your door. Lock your door." I hope Shad doesn't do that in every match, as it came off kind of cheesy, though I laughed if that was what he was going for - but I doubt it. They play up JTG being more intelligent than Shad, winning the match by outsmarting him. About as good as strap matches get.
Yes. You paid for the pay-per-view, and they still run a commercial. Ridiculous. Good thing I'm streaming this.
World Heavyweight Championship [Extreme Rules]: Jack Swagger (c) def. Randy Orton
Orton turns face and suddenly can walk to the ring faster. Lawler drops a not-so-subtle hint by saying he thinks Randy has "stone cold" eyes. Still a rather low energy crowd, which is surprising. Pretty good match, though it could have used a bit more vitality. I'm glad that Swagger retained and I'm also glad that after that, Orton gave him an RKO, continuing his tweener persona.
Street Fight: Sheamus def. HHH
Sheamus comes to the ring and asks if Triple H is going to forfeit. Of course, he doesn't, because he's oh so strong. Wowzers what an amazing god of a man that we should all bow down to, right? I couldn't really get into this match, but of course they started off with a handicap as I find Sheamus pretty intolerable and I really dislike Triple H. Sheamus finally gets a pin over HHH, but of course it's after a simulated injury and FOUR finishers. Yeah, that puts your buddy over. Jeez. HHH can't even lose legit to the guys he likes anymore.
Women's Championship [Extreme Makeover]: Beth Phoenix def. Michelle McCool (c)
Whoever had this idea should have their pay docked. What a stupid, stupid idea. No disqualification because you can use hairspray and irons and brooms and buckets. Seriously. It's a shame they didn't just let these two have a normal no-dq match as they probably could have done a good job, seeing as how they're two of the only women in the WWE that actually know how to somewhat wrestle.
Cage Match: Edge def. Chris Jericho
Tony Chimel's voice ALWAYS cracks when he says "Rated R Superstar". I'm getting kind of tired of hearing them play up the Achilles heel injury, seeing as how if he were that weak, he'd have re-injured it by now. They act like he hasn't wrestled a single match since his return. Couple of nice false finishes here and there, but they dragged this match out too long and it came out kind of long-winded and boring.
WWE Championship [Last Man Standing]: John Cena (c) def. Batista
As soon as the bell rings, the crowd begins with a rather loud "Cena sucks" chant. Cole's response, of course, is to say that nobody evokes a bigger response from the crowd than Cena. This has become the WWE's PC way of saying "lots of people hate him" haha. Batista hears some kid say "I hate you Batista" and responds "I HATE YOU TOO" haha. Nice job throwing Cena through the barricade. The sound effect completely sold it as feeling vicious. Very cool Attitude Adjustment on Batista through the table. I loved the ending to this match, where Cena duct taped Batista's legs in a position where he couldn't technically "stand". That was fantastic. Innovative, different, and it led to a cool little shot they'll be using for quite a while with Batista flipping out and Cena simply giving him the "you can't see me" taunt.
So there you have it, Extreme Rules 2010 edition. Now onto the new ppv "Over the Limit".